Love, Self

How To Find The Man Of Your Dreams

Like many single women, you're out there, searching for the man of your dreams. You may be asking yourself: does this man really exist in the dating pool? Or is he just truly "in my dreams"? If you believe he does exist, how do you find him and attract him? After all, you want to fall in love and step out of that dating pool yourself.

Much relationship advice for women encourages you to be picky to the point of detriment to your happiness. You shouldn't settle, but there's something to be said for being realistic and honest.

Let's talk about those dreams of yours for a second. Are yours realistic and honest about where you are in your life right now? For instance: you're 43 and you want children. Have you considered alternate ways you can make that happen? Are you realistically going to have two or three biological children at your age with a life partner? Maybe, but perhaps not in the way you had imagined.

Maybe you're divorced with two kids, and you'd love to meet a new partner. The trouble is, you find it hard to meet a man who wants to date a single mother. Maybe you're seeking out the wrong type of man; maybe you need to open your mind and start looking for someone who wants to both love you and your children.

Your dreams should be dictated by the reality of where you are in your life right now. Your life is a gift, and it's full of infinite options. You have to look at those possibilities as they present themselves to you every day — and be honest with yourself when dreams just can't come true. For example, I remember when I was a kid I wanted to be the next Casey Kasem. That was my dream; that was my goal.

I'd sit in my room and do my own Top 40 countdowns, dreaming big. But my parents didn't provide infinite possibilities to become a DJ. I went to the wrong college and ended up never doing radio. Yet, in my dreams I still wanted to be like Casey.

The route I took in life didn't enable me to become the next Casey Kasem. It enabled me to become David Wygant, a dating coach. I love being David Wygant because it has enabled me to impact the lives of so many. Many men's and women's lives have changed because of my dating advice and dating products. And my life is still full of infinite possibilities. 

I get to help people find themselves and fall in love, and that's something that's really important to me. It may not be the life that I dreamt about as a kid, but I'm amazingly happy and grateful.

So before you work out a scheme to meet the man of your dreams, you need to look at where you are in your life right now. It's important to assess your current situation, and create infinite possibilities from where you are at this moment.

If you don't, you could spend your life chasing a dream that doesn't exist. I've met a lot of women who've spent so much time chasing impossible goals, and let me tell you: they're not happy people. They're 65, they're angry, and they're wondering what happened to their lives — all because they were trying to live a dream that was unrealistic.

Don't let conventional wisdom or societal pressures dictate what your goals and fantasies are made of. Allow yourself to explore situations that are totally right for you.

It's time to craft a new dating dream for yourself. It's time to tap into new desires so you can fall in love with an amazing partner. You can find the man of your dreams, but you have to find him based on where you are now, wherever it might be.

More relationship advice for women from YourTango