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Saying you're career-driven? Maybe don't.
By David Wygant — Written on Jul 24, 2021
Online dating and dating apps are all the rage these days.
You no longer need to write long-winded paragraphs about yourself and your dream fantasy person.
Nowadays, if you want to go on a date, all you need to do is go to Bumble, Hinge, Tinder, and the countless other dating sites and just write a few sentences about yourself, add four or five photos, and off to swiping we go.
Brilliant.
You don't have to read anything.
But — and here's the big 'but' — those few sentences could also be enough to turn off the majority of men. I've seen it happen so many times.
What you say in those few sentences on a dating site can determine whether a man swipes right or swipes left. It can determine whether or not he wants to get together with you at all.
Women often make these 3 fatal mistakes in online dating — and they're usually all in the same profile.
1. Saying you're career-driven.
As a man, I don't need to know that. Do you know what the phrase "career-driven" triggers in a man?
He thinks, "She's going to take charge of the relationship. She's career-driven. She’s forgotten how to be feminine."
Or, "She's not a nurturing type of woman. She's going to work late all the time and not really be feminine in a relationship."
Career-driven — writing that alone triggers those kinds of thoughts in a man.
Most women desire a king. The king doesn't care what you do, he cares about how you treat him.
Career-driven triggers the wrong things. How you formulated your career or how you make your money — men don't need to know that. It doesn't matter.
This is dating, not an interview. When women say career-driven, it shows me that you're still in the interview process. You're treating dates like interviews instead of romance.
2. Saying you don't need a man.
Usually, this comes after career-driven — "I don't need a man in my life, but I would like one."
Men like to feel needed and desired.
Nobody needs a man. And I don't need a woman.
But, what I need and desire is a partner.
When someone says they don't need a man, what that says is that you’re bitter. You've had bad relationships so you don't need a man.
So that one statement tells us that you're not going to be feminine in a relationship. You don't need us so you're not going to fall for us. We’re not going to be able to romance you.
3. Saying, "My life is full of adventures. I live life to the fullest."
You're telling us right then and there that you have no idea how to be vulnerable.
Living life to the fullest means that you have filled your life with other things besides romance and intimacy.
You have filled your life with toys and games and trips and everything else.
You're telling us you really don't need a man, you're career-driven, and you live life to the fullest. It tells men — plain and simple — that you don't get what being vulnerable and intimacy are all about.
Just three statements but they're fatal.
They are so simple but women say them consistently.
Are you looking for love? Create a profile that attracts quality men that are desperate to date you by using language that triggers men in a positive way.
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David Wygant is an internationally-renowned dating and relationship coach, author, and speaker.