There is a much better solution for finding the man of your dreams ...
By Ronnie Ann Ryan — Written on Dec 08, 2014
Do you find yourself waiting for the phone to ring? Waiting for him to call?
There is a lot of dating advice for women on this topic because it's a tough issue to deal with. After a great first date and a strong connection, excitement builds. This is especially true at the end of your date, when he asks you for another date.
He says he'll call to set that date up. So you wait … and wait. But he doesn't call and you feel devastated.
What is a woman supposed to do? You may feel confused, rejected, or sink into despair. How could he not call when you had such a good time? You could tell he did, too. So, what's the problem? What happened?
You might think calling him is the answer. As a dating coach for women, I'm not a big fan of calling men or initiating contact for the first several dates.
You want to know what a man will do without your prompting because that tells you how interested he truly is. If he can't even make a call or ask you out, he's not that interested, no matter how great your first date seemed.
Still, you feel compelled to contact him anyway. You have to know WHY he didn't call.
Trouble is, being direct at the start of dating doesn't work. If you ask "why" he didn't call or say you thought you would have heard from him by now, men hear this as criticism. He's not going to tell the truth anyway.
Can you imagine him saying, "I met someone else." What about, "You remind me too much of my ex." Or, "I'm not really that attracted to you."
Being direct is a huge turn off and puts a man on the defensive. Or he might see you as clingy, needy, demanding or desperate, none of which are attractive either.
If you must call a man, my dating advice for women is to never call more than once.
Ask how a project is going, talk about a big game his team won, or say something you saw on TV brought him to mind. But, don't say a word asking why he hasn't called or asked you out again.
My best dating advice for women about waiting for his call is simple and somewhat shocking—Don't wait.
That's right. What should you do instead? Date other men! This is the beauty of dating several men at the same time. I'm not talking about getting serious with more than one man or being in multiple relationships.
The idea is that you don't know who will call again, so hedge your bets by dating a few men. This is easy with online dating and expected behavior.
Your objective is to get to know several men to figure out which one has long-term potential. Who seems like the best match? Who calls and asks you out consistently, and tries to please you?
So many women confuse dating with being in a relationship, which is not the same.
Once you see a man consistently for several weeks, you can slow down on meeting new men. However, there's no reason to not date others until you discuss and agree on exclusivity.
Think about it, if you are dating several guys, and one doesn't call for a second date, no big deal. You've got other options. If you follow this dating advice, you'll never wait by the phone again. If one man doesn't ask you out, others certainly will.
This dating philosophy stems from seeing your love opportunities as abundant. Knowing there are more men to date will keep you from feeling down about one particular guy. You may feel sad briefly, but it won't last. Your confidence will grow and be bolstered because you have new dates on the horizon.
This is the strategy I used to meet the man I married. It saved me from wasting so much time by the phone, hoping some guy would call. Not me, I was too busy meeting men.
It's easy to slip into the victim role when a suitor doesn't call and I understand the pain that causes. But now you have a new way of looking at this common dating problem. It took some practice, but moving on to meet a new man cheered me up every time.
You are too special to waste time feeling depressed and rejected because some guy didn't call. Maybe he seemed perfect, but if he really was, he'd have called you. Know that you are an incredible woman and a fabulous catch. Feel good about who you are and what you have to offer.
Remember that there are plenty of other men out there. For the man who doesn't call, it's his loss. He's the one missing out, not you. You are moving ahead and looking to meet the right man who knows you are THE woman for him.
When you focus on these empowering thoughts and believe them, you become practically irresistible to men. You exude confidence and your attraction rises to new levels. My best dating advice for women is to learn how to adopt this mindset and build your confidence with it.
You deserve a man who pursues you consistently and is clear you are the woman for him. Anything less, and the man is not worthy of your consideration.
Stop waiting by the phone. Go out and meet new men instead. If he calls, you can decide if there's room for him in your busy social calendar.
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