How To Handle It When He Stops Calling You For No Real Reason
Rejection can actually be a good thing.
tommaso79 | Canva One dating problem women face is wondering why they stopped calling. You know, the great guy you had so much fun with and never heard from again? When men mysteriously disappear, dating rejection is a jarring and crummy experience.
Julie, one of my clients, faced this challenge when she was blindsided by rejection after a great first date.
She connected with Bruce through a dating site. They exchanged emails and spoke on the phone.
They met for coffee and chatted up a storm for over two hours. She told me Bruce was interested in her.
Bruce asked Julie for a second date. The following week, they went skating. She said he was a total gentleman, and they both had fun. Unfortunately, at the end of the date, instead of asking her out again or even saying he would call her, Bruce suggested she call him "sometime" because "it would be fun to talk."
Here's how to handle rejection when he stops calling you for no real reason:
1. Know the signs might be subtle
Julie was surprised by this proposition and didn't know what to make of it. After four days, Bruce still hadn't called her, and she asked me what I thought. Was this his way of rejecting her by avoiding a third date?
She felt confused. How could a date go so well, and the guy doesn't call? Julie wondered, "Does he expect me to call him?"Julie is savvy enough to know the last thing she should do is start pursuing him.
There are a thousand reasons a man doesn't call a woman after a great date. But the bottom line is this — whatever the reason, the guy changed his mind. Let's get clear on how he communicated this. When you read between the lines of what Bruce said to Julie at the end of the second date, he told her he wouldn't be calling again.
He had already demonstrated he knew how to pursue a woman, but after skating, he dropped the ball in her court, suggesting she call him. He meant, "I'm no longer going to pursue you."
2. Accept they have changed their mind and may have done you a favor
That doesn't mean he wants Julie to call him. Nope, he changed his mind and moved on. I know this is tough because every woman wants to know why. Julie wanted to know what happened or what she might have done wrong to turn him off.
When a man stops calling within the first few dates, he has done you a favor. How can I say that? Well, he didn't waste months of Julie's time before disappearing. He had decided she didn't suit him and left her free to find a better man.
A man who stops calling has saved you a lot of pain. If and when this happens to you while looking for love, remember it's a sure sign he was not the right man for you. Yes, it is that simple.
3. Adopt a "Who's next?" attitude
Frankly, I am proud of Julie for not contacting him. That took guts and confidence.
My best advice is this: "Why didn't he call?" is not the right question. Instead, ask yourself, "Who's next?" There are so many more men available to meet and date. Putting a positive spin on a guy not calling helps you dust yourself off and get back out there so you can cross paths with a man who knows you are the one for him.
Ronnie Ann Ryan is an Intuitive Coach, Past Life Reader, and author of six books. She’s the creator of the free audio course How to Ask the Universe for a Sign and Get an Answer Within 24 Hours. She's been published on ABC, BBC, and NPR.