Self, Heartbreak

How To Find Peace During Your Divorce

You are now in the midst of a divorce. Maybe you wanted it or maybe you were thrown into it. Regardless of the reason for your divorce, you feel betrayed and lost. At times the pain seems more than you are able to bear. Family and friends may be telling you that you are better off, or they may simply be bashing your spouse. Some people that you thought were your friends may be avoiding you. Your entire life as you knew it has been turned upside down and you long for some peace and solace.

Peace does not mean that everything is going to be magically all right and that you will be as happy as can be. What it means is that you are at peace within your heart, even if you hate the circumstances that are happening around you. YES, it really is possible to have Peace During Divorce. When you find peace, you will have more confidence about who you are and what you want as well as clarity about your future.

The mere thought of divorce is enough to shake ones confidence. Your confidence level has dropped, simply because you find yourself in unchartered territory. In your mind you thought you had it all figured out and had a very clear mental picture about what your life would be like in the future. You also had a daily routine that has gone out the window.

During your struggle to find some sort of normalcy in your life, you find that you are being barraged with emotions that you weren't expecting. You may find yourself being sad, angry, remorseful, revengeful and happy all within a five-minute period. You are motivated to find peace during divorce.

You have some major decisions to make that will impact the rest of your life. You feel fearful and confused about your future. You've heard so many horror stories. Family and friends are telling you that you should take him to the cleaners or that he should pay for whatever wrongdoing he did (even if you left for a reason.) A part of you wants him to pay, while another part of you might still have some feelings for him as you struggle with the, If only's, Why's, Could'ves and Should'ves.

The two most important aspects to having peace during divorce is to accept what is and to stay in the present moment. To accept what is, means that you are not fighting it internally. You may not like it, but you accept the reality that your marriage is over. You simply accept that which you cannot change, and this includes your husband's bad behavior.

When you accept your situation for what it is, it enables you to focus on what is important, without the strong urge to change something that you cannot change. It is impossible for you to change or control another person's actions or feelings.

Staying in the present moment allows you to have Peace During Divorce as you are only concentrating on what is happening at that moment. You are not thinking about the past or the future. You are not trying to change the past. A lot of stress and tension in divorce is usually caused by unhappy thoughts of the past or the future. When you focus on what's happening right now, you feel more peace and in control. Stay Present.

More divorce advice on YourTango: