3 Steps To Using The Law Of Attraction To Create Satisfying Relationships

You can attract amazing relationships!

couple using law of attraction for love marjan apostolovic/shutterstock

First, the good news: Using the Law of Attraction to help you create the fun, fresh, and satisfying relationships you desire does not depend on anyone in your life changing their ways.

In fact, all the energy you’ve invested trying to get others to see your perspective and align with your values? Not only do these efforts lead to disappointment, exhaustion, and frustration, they’re also completely counterproductive.


There are easier, healthier ways to attract love into your life.

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Every relationship you have with another person begins with you.

"Energy precedes manifestation" is one of the powerful, unwritten rules of this Universe. It means that how you think, feel, speak, and believe about a person in the privacy of your own heart and mind matters — a lot.

The energy you generate within yourself about others dramatically influences the quality of the relationship you experience with them.

Imagine that you’ve had some past experiences where you’ve felt disappointed by men. Those experiences — provided you rehash them and keep them alive within you — trigger thoughts, feelings, and even expectations that make you a perfect match to being disappointed again.


How? Because what you expect, you tend to look for, and what you look for, you tend to find.

Expectations are powerful.

In the very act of flowing energy toward that potential (unwanted) outcome, you are magnetically attracting it into your life.

Your expectations are that powerful.

But what if your dominant expectation about men is that they are helpful, well-meaning, and genuinely want to be of value? If this were the energy you nourished in your heart and mind, would they show up any different in your experience?

According to the Law of Attraction, yes.

Everything that manifests in the physical world does so by a process of resonant energies being drawn together.

The Law of Attraction states that the energy you broadcast out into the Universe is joined by energies that are harmonic or resonant in frequency. And so, the energy you direct via your thoughts, beliefs, and emotions comes back to you, eventually manifesting into external experiences.


This means that the state of everything in your external world — including your relationships — is a direct reflection of your internal state.

In the simplest terms, the Law of Attraction is merely the principle that, “Like attracts like.” This law is universal, meaning it works for everyone, all the time, whether you are aware of it or not.

And unfortunately, when it comes to the people who mean the most to you, you are often completely oblivious to the energy you’re bringing into those relationships.

It’s true. Things sometimes happen in relationships that hurt your feelings or catch you off-guard.

Kids sometimes misbehave. Business partners sometimes don’t communicate clearly or directly. Significant others may get caught up with other priorities.


But it’s what you do with these inevitable bumps in the road that determines whether the path will smooth out as you move forward.

If you haven’t yet learned about the power of your thoughts, you unknowingly draw to yourself the exact opposite of what you really desire. you may hold onto angry or blameful thoughts — sometimes unconsciously; sometimes defiantly or righteously.

You’d rather be right about your partners being wrong than receptive to them showing up at their best.

And in so doing, you create an energetic environment within you that keeps you from the satisfying relationship you desire. To create a different result, you have to cultivate a different expectation.

Think of it this way: Would you expect yourself to have a fantastic time with your partner if you’d spent the day rehashing all the complaints you’ve ever had about her over the years? Of course not.


In order for a fantastic time to unfold in your experience, you have to be ready to receive it. This means aligning the energy of your moods, your emotions, your thoughts, and your expectations with the experience you wish to create.

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Here are 3 steps to using the Law of Attraction in order to create satisfying relationships.

1. Learn how to be appreciative.

You want your relationship to continue to improve, which is to say, to become more than it already right now.

Think of this improvement like a stock or a piece of property that appreciates in value. The way to bring about the continual improvement of anything you care about is to appreciate everything that it is right now.


Prior to making dinner with your children or going on a date with your spouse, remind yourself of everything that you love about these precious human beings.

Make a mental list of all the beautiful memories you’ve shared, and of all the important milestones that are still ahead of you. Feel your appreciation for their positive aspects, and for all the ways they’ve touched your heart.

The Universe is always ready, willing, and able to deliver you exactly what you desire. Your job is to make sure you’re open to receiving its gifts.

This means positioning yourself in the most advantageous stance ahead of time. Get yourself in the mood to receive the very best version of everyone you come into contact with.


2. Check your expectations.

Your expectations become self-fulfilling prophecies.

Be willing to discover what your dominant thoughts are about the people in your life. Think both in generally and in specific terms. For example, do you believe all in-laws are intrusive? Or that all women are emotional?

And for the specific people in your life, notice whether you have allowed their past behavior to dictate what you come to expect from them in the future. Hint: If you keep creating the same type of unwanted relationship dynamics, you need to shift your expectations.

Studies have shown that when teachers expect better intellectual performance from their students, they are more likely to get it. When coaches expect better athletic performance from their athletes, they’re more likely to get it.


And when you expect and joyfully anticipate a satisfying interaction with someone you care about, you nurture that reality into being.

Positive expectations summon an energy field that makes the intended outcome much easier to achieve.

3. Start telling a new story.

It’s incredibly easy (and sometimes satisfying, in the short term) to rehash the details of what’s happened in the past. Maybe you’re hoping others will understand your point of view, or maybe you’re seeking to justify your behavior.


But it’s imperative to understand that anytime you are speaking about an unwanted experience, you are increasing the likelihood of repeating that experience. You are constructing your version of reality with every word you speak.

To create more satisfying relationships, start telling the story about what you want, and let go of the story about what has been. You have to start broadcasting, practicing, and reinforcing the vibration of you being satisfied in a relationship in order to attract the satisfaction you’re looking for.

Make the deliberate choice to stop using past experiences to justify your dissatisfaction at the moment.

Remember that your vibration — meaning how you really feel in any given moment — is entirely yours to manage. And you have the power to manage it from the inside-out, rather than waiting for anyone or anything else to change.


This is the way you prepare your internal environment for an effortless, easy, exhilarating experience in any aspect of your life.

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Christy Whitman is an energy healer, celebrity coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of "The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance." If you’re ready to discover the limitlessness of your own wisdom and power, join Christy’s conscious community, and begin to manifest greater abundance in your life with seven days of free meditations. Connect with her at ChristyWhitman.com.