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Often, the way we try to stop the drama actually makes it worse
By Christy Whitman
Last updated on Oct 02, 2023
Drama can ruin your happiness, stress you out, and make you feel exhausted. But there are ways you can keep drama from seeping in and ruining your life.
The secret is to figure out how to get positivity and happiness into your life rather than negativity and drama. But first, you need to get to the root of why it feels like drama is coming toward you.
You’ve probably been there. A coworker blows something out of proportion and needlessly involves others as well. A friend or family member is disappointed by something life has brought them and somehow concludes you are to blame. Your spouse or lover reacts with more emotionally charged energy than a situation calls for.
What now?
Logically, you understand these reactions come from an unresolved issue from the past. But how do you sidestep them? And, even more critically, what if you are the person who finds yourself overreacting?
The hardest part of reducing the drama in your life
Cultivating a drama-free life means that you can’t “get to the bottom” of drama. That's right, you can't try to solve it.
Trying to find the source of who is saying what and why, or trying to figure out why certain negative people in your life are the way you are is only going to make it worse. After all, what you focus on becomes more of the problem.
If like attracts like, meaning like energies will continue to build and become stronger, then drama thrives on more drama. Pain begets more pain. Combating negativity with negativity is the fastest way to create more of it.
The most important clue about sidestepping drama is not to engage in it in the first place. Trying too hard to be the voice of reason will only result in more noise.
So, what can you do when you find yourself engaged in someone else’s drama?
Here's how to live a drama-free life, even when surrounded by dramatic people
1. Watch your words.
Be careful of the words you speak aloud and those you offer in the privacy of your mind. Language does not just describe reality; language creates reality.
By examining the words you’re using, you gain valuable insight into how you are interpreting any given situation. “I can’t,” “I should/shouldn’t have,” “I always/never,” and “I have to”, these words indicate you’re already knee-deep in drama.
Another, more direct, way to distinguish this is by paying attention to how you feel.
When you’re engaged in drama with another person, you feel bad. Being in drama mode means you’re coming from a lack-based perspective. You see yourself as a victim, a persecutor, or a rescuer. In other words, you’re reacting, not responding.
When you identify with one of these roles, you can disengage before the drama grows. Be mindful of your words and internal dialog by turning disempowering language into empowerment.
2. Explore your options.
Have you ever been so fixated on a problem you couldn’t see an obvious solution? This is what it’s like to be mired in drama (someone else’s or our own). Our negative thoughts and feelings keep us from seeing how many options are available in every situation.
Whenever you find yourself feeling stuck, make a list of at least ten different ways you could approach the situation.
Even if you don’t have the option of walking away, you can always exercise your right to withdraw your attention. You also have the power to decide how to interpret a situation and what conclusions to draw from it.
Your point of view is an option.
You can dwell on everything that’s happened or focus on what you want to create. When you give up the scarcity mindset, you become present in the abundance around you. And when drama comes into contact with neutrality, it loses all momentum.
3. Claim your power to "choose."
Having explored all your options, choose one in alignment with the outcome you seek.
Every time something unwanted occurs, it brings with it the gift of clarity. If you feel disrespected, you’re clear about wanting more respect. When a relationship is in turmoil, it clarifies how much you value harmony. When you’ve experienced too much drama or chaos, you’re never more clear about your desire for peace.
Use your innate power of choice to align yourself with the solution you seek rather than the problem.
4. Release with love.
The final habit for sidestepping drama is to no longer push against it in resistance.
Trying to control the behavior of anyone other than yourself is a losing battle every time. Do your best to release your own emotionally charged thoughts and judgments. Give up your perspective about what others should do. You can let go of your need to be vindicated and validated.
The bottom line…
If you want less drama in your life, leave your drama at the door. If you want peace, bring it with you everywhere you go. When you stop fanning the flames of drama, the Law of Attraction will stop bringing it around.
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Christy Whitman is an energy healer, transformational leader, celebrity coach, and New York Times bestselling author of 'The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance.'
This article was originally published at Christy Whitman's website. Reprinted with permission from the author.