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Here's how to get the universe on your side when it comes to love.
By Christy Whitman
Last updated on Jan 25, 2024
When it comes to creating healthy relationships, there are lots of options you can choose from to make your love last.
Whether it's a new relationship or you've been together for years, by using the Law of Attraction — plus six other universal laws from the New Thought movement — you can make sure your relationship is built on happiness and love.
Understanding the power of universal laws, like the Law of Attraction and other, lesser-known laws of the universe, and learning how to implement them in your love life will help you build healthy relationships by continually keeping positivity, happiness, and loving one another at the forefront.
The universal laws are not strategies or tactics or pieces of relationship advice, but rather principles based on the physics of energy that work in every aspect of your life.
What follows is a crash course in how to utilize seven powerful universal laws to create, and re-create, the deepest and most fulfilling intimate relationship you can imagine.
After you’ve explored each one, it may surprise you to realize that you already have an intuitive understanding of these spiritual truths. They are at work behind the scenes in virtually every aspect of life.
For example, think back to your first date with your significant other — or, if you’re currently single, to a first date you had with someone you felt excited by or hopeful about. Remember how lit up and inspired you were? How did everything except what was happening in the present moment fade into the background?
Even if you were cautiously optimistic going into the date, once you were in the experience, your state of being shifted to one of joyful anticipation.
Rather than waste precious energy trying to find faults, you were only looking for what was right about this person. Using the powerful focus of your mind, you filtered out anything that contradicted your desire for it to work and allowed yourself to see only the good.
After all, you knew very little about this person’s history and had virtually no shared history together, so your awareness was free to soar in the limitless realm of possibility. Effortlessly, you conjured thoughts, images, and feelings about a brilliant, fulfilled, happily-ever-after future.
Most people can pretty easily remember feeling over-the-top joy and eager anticipation about a new relationship. So, how can understanding the universal principles of deliberate creation — that is, imagining the best in a situation and drawing it to you — help get that magic back?
Couples who abide by these 7 little 'laws' have healthier relationships than most people:
1. The Law of Attraction
The Law of Attraction is the principle that like attracts like, and energies that resonate with one another are naturally drawn together. In most first-date scenarios, you are in a state of joyous, positive expectation, and the energy of joy is both attractive and magnetic. But when we begin to treat our partner as a sounding board for our problems, we introduce the energies of unhappiness, frustration, and discontent into the relationship.
Thanks to the Law of Attraction, this is what we attract more of.
To use the Law of Attraction to your advantage, remember how it felt to be newly in love with your partner and make sure you’re activating those feelings within you regularly.
2. The Law of Allowing
When you first meet a potential life partner, you are genuinely curious about — and therefore allowing of — who that person is. You receive whatever they share about themselves without judgment and expectation. However, as your lives become more entwined, you may shut down the natural flow of allowing by resisting or judging your partner’s evolving needs and desires.
To use the Law of Allowing to your benefit, recognize that each of you will continue to grow — both within the context of and independent of — your relationship with one another. The powerful choice is always to allow and encourage your partner’s growth, rather than to resist or ridicule it. Surrender into their evolution as well as into your own, and look for the common ground between you.
Having new areas of interest will keep your relationship fresh and alive.
3. The Law of Sufficiency and Abundance
The Law of Sufficiency and Abundance helps you to understand that the only way to create more of what you want is by appreciating what you already have; not by focusing on the absence of it. What you are grateful for is appreciated and becomes more.
At the beginning of a relationship, when you’re only looking for the good news about your partner, it’s incredibly easy to lavish them with appreciation. But as time goes by and you become familiar with their human imperfections and flaws, you need to practice the art of deliberate appreciation.
By noticing, thinking about, basking in, and complimenting your partner for everything you love about them, you acknowledge the abundance of love that is already flowing between you and encourage that love to grow deeper.
4. Law of Deliberate Creation
This universal law is founded on the understanding that whatever you direct your energy toward, you begin to attract.
Many times, once a relationship is mature and stable, you start to feel that you’ve “arrived” at the final destination and that no more deliberate attention is required. This is a crucial mistake.
In truth, you're constantly creating and recreating your relationships. They are living organisms that exist in a continual state of becoming. If you are not actively nurturing their growth, you're contributing to their demise.
To use the Law of Deliberate Creation to deepen the love in your relationship, view it as a continual work in progress. Periodically reassess the type of attention and energy that would best support its growth, and make a concerted effort to bring those qualities in.
5. The Law of Detachment
Practicing the Law of Detachment does not mean closing yourself off from your partner, becoming aloof, or withholding your vulnerability or passion. It means that you liberate the relationship from the burdens of dependency and rigid expectations.
Trying to control the behavior of another is the fastest way to suck the life-giving air out of any relationship. When you're attached to a certain outcome you’ve come to expect from your partner, you don’t increase your odds of creating that outcome; you reduce them.
To use the Law of Detachment to enhance the vitality of your relationship, make sure that both of you have space and time to nurture your independent interests. When you take responsibility for your happiness and allow your partner to attend to theirs, your coming together is inspired by joy rather than attachment.
6. The Law of Pure Potentiality
This universal law can support you in opening your mind and heart to all that your relationship has the potential to become.
Over time, you may start to relate to your partner as a continuation of who they’ve been in the past, but this leads to monotony and imposes limits on the limitless possibilities that are available to you in every moment.
To use the Law of Pure Potentiality to your advantage, view each day with your partner as the beginning of a new and exciting story that is unbounded by anything that’s come before. Visit new places. Watch different types of programs. Regularly expose yourselves to new situations, and watch as previously unseen aspects of the person you love unfold before your eyes.
7. The Law of Polarity
The Law of Polarity helps you understand that there are two sides to every person, every situation, and every facet of life. Everyone and everything is made up of both positive and negative aspects. In your intimate relationships, you can choose to focus on the aspects of your partner that aggravate or upset you, or you can choose to focus on the aspects you love and are thankful for.
To use this powerful law to your advantage, dedicate a small notebook or journal to keep a running list of your partner’s most positive aspects. Are you thankful for the ways they support you? Do you appreciate their great sense of humor? Do you love the ease of communication between you? Write it all down, and for extra credit, periodically share your lists with your significant other.
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Christy Whitman is an energy healer, transformational leader, celebrity coach, and New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance.