Be cool, stay positive, and open yourself up to possibilities in the New Year.
By Christina Steinorth-Powell — Written on Dec 02, 2014
Are you tired of being single or alone? Sick of dating losers? Why not make one of your New Year's resolutions to find a soulmate? It's easier than you think it is!
Here are 10 simple steps you can take to help you reach your goal:
1. Be ready. Be emotionally in a space where you're open to love. If you're holding a grudge from your former relationship — whatever it may be — trust, anger, or disappointment, you need to let go of that or at least resolve it in your head so you don't bring those negative feelings into your new relationship.
Think about it, you prepare for everything else in your life — the space in your head shouldn't be any different. Clean it up and make it presentable. We tend to attract people who have similar levels of self-esteem to our own. Be in a place where you actually like yourself to be open to man who will actually like you too.
2. Be interesting. No potential partner wants to be bored to tears on the first date. Have things to talk about rather than other people and your previous relationships. Be fun and engaging. Show that you are able to talk about just about anything intelligently, put away your cell phone and make eye contact.
Good conversationalists make great dates! Think you may be lacking things to talk to a stranger about? Read. Read everything you can get your hands on — internet articles, newspapers and magazines. Being up-to-date on current events may sound like an old fashioned thing to do, but it's one of the best ways to find something in common to talk about.
3. Don't dress like you've given up. You don't need to be rail thin or have super model looks to meet the love of your life, but you should look presentable. Guys: Put away the wife-beaters and baggy shorts, jeans and flip flops. Women: Put away the pajama bottoms once you get out of bed, toss on a little lipstick and dress in something that doesn't look like you're running out to a garage sale on a Saturday morning.
You never know when or where you'll meet the person you're meant to be with and if you're not looking your best, he or she may look right past you. I know in a perfect world it shouldn't matter how we dress and what we look like to attract a partner, but in reality, it does. If you're on the market, look like you are without being overly sexy (no one likes to be oversold after all). When you look good, you'll also feel better about yourself and self-confidence is always attractive.
4. Know what you want from your love life. Do you want to date different men? Are you looking for something casual? Or, are you looking to get married? It helps to know what you want because this way you won't be wasting your time dating people you know aren't clearly right for you.
5. Be willing to accept a little imperfection. Some people — both men and women — set their standards so high, that they never find anyone who can meet them and then they wonder why they are alone. (Just be careful that you don't settle too much because if you're sacrificing too much of yourself for the sake of your relationship, then that's not good either).
6. Get out there and meet people. Prince Charming isn't going to come and knock on your door regardless of how fabulous you are — he needs to know you're there. Attend events and take classes where there are likely to be men attending — a sailing class, or a co-ed softball team are good places to start. F
7. Employ your social network. Ask your girlfriends if they know of anyone who may be right for you. Friends are a great way to meet people because it's like an automatic screening procedure.
8. Go online. A recent statistic states that 1 in 5 relationships start online now. Just be careful with this one and follow your instincts — we have them for a reason. If something doesn't feel right about what the person is telling you, then it probably isn't. Meet within three months to see if you're compatible in person.
I can't tell you how many times I hear of men and women corresponding for months and even years, only to find out that when it comes time to meet, the person doesn't show up, is not who or what they said they were, or they're simply not compatible. Don't tie your love life up online — meet in person to see if things work.
9. Be a great date. A first date won't lead to a second if you're not a great date. Be engaging, funny, look your best and leave your negativity and fussiness at home. Men will find you more attractive if you have a generally pleasant disposition — I know of very few men who like dating a diva.
10. Don't give up. Just because you have't met anyone by March, doesn't mean you won't meet anyone by June. The only way you won't meet anyone for sure is if you stop trying.
Christina Steinorth-Powell is a Licensed Psychotherapist in Dallas, Texas and the author of Cue Cards for Life: Thoughtful Tips for Better Relationships. You can order her book too.
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