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3 Lessons About Marriage You Should Learn From Halle Berry's Divorce

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In August 2015, Halle said she simply lost her damn ring.

Now we know that unfortunately three times was a not a charm for Halle Berry, who filed for divorce from Olivier Martinez on October 27th under the alias Hal Maria. Making it known that she's serious, she was sure to file a second time under her real name. It was 2007 when Halle stated she would never ever, ever marry again.

What happened to change her mind, and more importantly, what happened to prompt her to file for divorce?

While some might say marriage was too much, or Hollywood is to blame ... the reported factors behind Halle's divorce pretty much doomed their potential for marriage bliss from the start. Here's why — along with what you can learn to prevent falling prey to these marital minefields.

1. Geography matters. Where you live can be a deal breaker:

Cross continental love can be absolutely amazing — and where you settle can support or strain your chances for long term love that works.

In addition to boosting that attraction factor, a European man can also truly enrich your life if you find yourselves compatible in all the right places. I know firsthand as the love of my life is Dutch, and was living in the Netherlands when we met. What happens (and where!) after you fall in love however, is vital to your long term success as a couple. According to reports, Halle and Olivier married with solid plans to live in France since he was not a fan of living in the U.S., let alone Los Angeles.

2. The pursuit of 'having it all' can actually leave you with less:

When work and home are off balance for too long, you can bet you're going to lose some of what you gained.

According to reports, after Halle and Olivier's relocation plan fell through, Halle took on more work that left Olivier alone much of the time — in a foreign country he had not even planned to live in. With all the talk about this being the "time of the woman," there are plenty of people out there who will stand behind Halle's career aspirations and work schedule, but the bottom line is, male or female you've got to nurture your home life along with your marriage if you want to enjoy success at home. Too often, we sum things up as black and white when they are far from it. The subject of women and careers is one of those areas that we can gain a lot more value from by exploring it honestly without the political correctness.

Different agreements work for different people. If the success of your relationship is important to you, you need to consider things honestly and be in agreement with your partner with a willingness to revisit and revise things that aren't working well.

3. Living separately leads to separation:

Chemistry is crucial if you want a truly passionate relationship. However, seeing eye to eye and heart to heart on the core aspects of your daily life together is an absolute must for long term compatibility and marital success.

Naturally it took very little time for the media to make this divorce about Olivier's insecurity over Halle's success, and claim he has been emasculated by it. Just know if you buy solely into that claim you'll miss out on the insightful gems that Halle and Olivier's split is serving all of us. Just as I discuss in How to Date When You're Famous; the details may be different, but the dynamics required to make your relationship successful are similar whether you're famous or not. You've got to be a team, take each other's feelings into consideration and be mindful of how changes to your plans affect both of you so you can strengthen your bond instead of sabotaging it.

Whether you're connecting across the globe or across the country, if you want to enjoy a fabulous relationship you need to be willing to give and take. Be considerate of your partner's feelings and desires along with your own. Be honest about the various ways your life and relationship can be affected by the choices you make so you can set you and your relationship up for the best love and partnership have to offer.

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