Self, Heartbreak

10 Warning Signs Of Financial Infidelity

10 Warning Signs Of Financial Infidelity [EXPERT]

When most people think of being unfaithful to their partner, they think it means having an affair. However, there are several ways you can be unfaithful to your partner: emotionally, physically and financially. The financial aspect is often overlooked as a problem because the one who is withholding the information thinks they are protecting their partner.

There are two types of lies: commission and omission. Lies of commission are knowing what you are doing, and justifying your actions in your own mind. (see items 2, 3, 5, 7, 8, 9, 10). Lies of omission, on the hand, means you're leaving out some of the vital information about a financial transaction (see items 1, 4, 6, 7). There are warning signs to look out for, as in any brand of infidelity, and it's up to you to decide if you want to confront yourself and share with your partner.

If you are unsure about telling your partner, then ask for help. Sorting out the problems with a therapist could do a world of difference for your relationship. Here are ten warning signs you are committing financial infidelity:

Related: Financial Infidelity: 5 Steps To Coming Clean

1. "Oh, it only cost…" Sometimes, there is nothing underhanded about saying "it only cost ..." when it was more or less than the stated amount. However, if you find you are saying "it only cost ..." because you had agreed to only spend a certain amount and you went over by a substantial amount, then it's definitely a problem. This is one way to go down the slippery slope to bigger issues.

2. Opening accounts (credit, bank, and loan). Opening an account without your partner knowing could be no big deal in your relationship, or it can be a very big deal. Some couples decide it's best to keep their money separate. If that is the case, having a new account without your partner knowing may mean nothing. It can become a big deal, however, if you are divorcing.

3. Taking money out of your retirement fund. If you are taking money out of your retirement fund and your partner is not part of the decision making process, then this is a breach of trust. However, if you have a pre-nuptial that clearly states that it's your money no matter what, then this is not a problem. The next questions to consider is: Why are you needing to cash out early and willing to pay penalties?

This sounds like something you would want to talk with your partner about before doing it, just to get another point of view. Or, if you have a gambling problem or some other kind of addiction that you are ashamed of, consult a therapist.

4. Borrowing money. It's really the best practice not to borrow money from friends or family. However, if you are borrowing from friends or family and asking them for a blood oath not to tell your partner, this says there's a major problem.

5. Hiding bonus money. Some think that if they get a bonus at work that it's none of their partner's business. As long as that's your agreement up front, it's not a problem. But, if you are getting a bonus and you are hiding it purposefully, there is a problem. If you find letting your partner know means that they will spend it without consulting you, that's a problem, as well.

RELATED: Financial Infidelity: 7 Hints He's Lying About Money

6. Lending money. Giving money to a friend or family member can be problem, depending upon the agreement you have with your partner. If your family member has "borrowed" many times from you, and your partner has made it clear they do not want to lend them money again and you give it away anyway, then that's an issue.

7. Opening a P.O. Box. Obviously, there are good reasons to open a Post Office Box where you wouldn't be hiding anything. The question is: Does my partner know I did this and if not, why not?

8. Hiding the credit card bill. If you are hiding any bill where you know your partner would get upset if they saw it, there is a major problem here.

RELATED: 5 Signs Of Financial Infidelity In Your Relationship

9. Forgery. If you are signing your partner's name without their knowledge, this is called forgery and it is a crime.

10. Stealing. If you are taking money out of your joint account and hoping your partner will not notice, or you're taking money out of their wallet without telling them, you are stealing. This needs to be looked at so you can understand the feelings behind the action.

This article was originally published at Camichie. Reprinted with permission from the author.