Matchmaker's Valentine’s Day Advise

Contributor
Love, Heartbreak

It’s that time of year again. Valentine’s Day is here! Sadly though, for many singles out there this is not the most exciting time of year. Being single for Valentine’s Day can likely be very stressful for some people. Attending events and parties alone near Valentine's Day makes you really focus on what's missing in your life. Well don’t worry, you’re not alone. You’re other half is waiting somewhere patiently just like you’re doing. It's important for me to say that when you’re looking for the love of your life you have to reach out of your normal activities, stay positive, have an open mind, and be a little bit more spontaneous than you usually are.

 This Valentine’s Day do yourself a big favor and take these tips to help you get on the right path to finding love:

1. Step out of your comfort zone and get out there. Go to all the parties you're invited to so you can meet new people. Try to go to an event once a week, even if it’s something you wouldn’t have normally attended. Don’t worry and go by yourself. Just make sure you smile and have fun. Whether it be through work, clubs, church, family, friends, or even mutual friends, this is a great time to take advantage of some fun events going on around you.

 2. Forget about dating “your type”.  I've been in the matchmaking business for over 22 years and this is of the biggest problems I see with my clients.  If your type worked for you, you'd be married. If you try something different you might surprise yourself. Dating outside your perceived “type” can allow you to open doors and meet fabulous people you could be interested in. Go for a person that you typically wouldn’t bother taking a second look at. And ladies, give nice guys a chance for once. Don’t let kindness be a turn off for you if you're used to being attracted to men you have to chase. Go out at least three times before you decide that you’re not interested. Nice people grow on you. 

 3. Give more effort than you have in given the past. If you’ve gone through all the singles in your area attempt to veer away from your routine dating spots to meet someone new. Don’t worry if they live a little farther away than you’re used to, find a fun place in the middle of where you live or work to meet.

4. Forget about your rules. Golden dating rules like “Don’t sleep with someone before the third date” I would take months to get to know someone well. The “Wait three days after the date to call” rule should also be forgotten. Putting a time limit about when you should or shouldn’t sleep with someone is silly. As long as you make sure you’ve had the chance to truly get to know the person before anything serious happens, trust your own judgment. As for waiting three days to call someone back, don’t. It’s rude. Call them the next day if you’re interested. Let them know how you’re feeling and be honest. Even if that means you don’t feel inclined to have a second date.

 5.  Don’t be stuck in the past, update your look! “New ‘do, new you” is a saying for a reason. Take it as advice and follow it! Get a marvelous new dating wardrobe and haircut. You can even hire a stylist to come to your house and give you some style tips. If you don’t know where to start, we can give you referrals! You shouldn’t show up on a first date without looking your best. If you feel good about how you look you will be more confident, and that’s the key to a better date!

6. Stop letting age be a deciding factor for you. People seem to pick a cut off age they feel is too old or young for them, and refuse to meet many compatible singles because of it. I’m not talking about 15 and 20 year age differences either, that is quite a large age gap and it’s understandable. However, if you are a 41 year old woman rejecting a man who is 50 because of his age alone, that’s an issue you’re creating for yourself. Almost every person I meet tells me about how they are the only one that doesn’t look their age and is fit, healthy, and active. If you restrict who you will date because they’re a year or two older than your cut off age, you’re limiting many great candidates that you could be happily married to. Don’t focus on age for once and genuinely try to find someone that you can have enjoyable conversations with and see where it goes. You might surprise yourself. Read more dating advice...

8. Be creative when planning a date. If you do have a date for Valentine's Day do something different instead of the typical dinner and a movie. Think out of the box and put a few extra minutes into brainstorming a fun and exciting first date. You could go shopping together, the theater, a museum, ice skate during sunset, or even grab a hot chocolate and walk at night. The options are endless if you take the time to think about them, so have fun with it.

9. Become a volunteer or start helping a charity.  Not only will you feel good about helping others, but it’s an opportunity to meet new people who care about the same things you do. Having that in common already makes instant conversation starters. If you don’t know where to start to give back, attend our annual holiday fundraiser. It isn’t exclusively a singles event, but hundreds of singles still attend every year. The money that’s made goes towards helping unfortunate Los Angeles children. What sounds bad about giving back and meeting someone too?  Sign up to help at our next event.

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10.  Relax! Dating shouldn’t be a stressful. Try letting lose and purely have fun meeting new people. Don't over think and go into all your first dates imagining what your life with that person for the next 5 years. Regardless about whether it works out between the two of you, simply be friendly and get to know each other. Even if no interest sparks during the date, you could make a friend and meet someone great through them. Keep the conversation positive and don’t talk about your problems or past relationships. If a sensitive subject gets brought up then be polite and answer them with something simple, then move on to another topic. Don’t ignore them, you’ll seem rude.  Talking about anything upsetting will make the two of you leave with wrong impressions, so try your very best to keep the mood light If you steer away from this advice you’ll regret it.

11.  Be the caliber of person you would want to meet yourself. Keep yourself from letting too loose and don’t drink an excessive amount. Be polite and respectful, use nice manners and reciprocate nice gestures to each other. To the ladies, if a man takes the time to plan out a nice date for the two of you, you need to say thank you at the end the night. In return, think of something equally as nice that you could do for him next time. Ideas from our matchmakers at Elite Connections would be to bring theater tickets, passes to one of his favorite sporting events, or offer to make him a home cooked meal after a 3rd or 4th date. Trust us, he will definitely appreciate it. Men, if you meet someone you’re interested in, be sure to give her your attention and make her a top priority. This includes forgetting the three day rule. If you’re interesting in her, then call her the next day and ask her out on another date. Don’t let her think you’re not interested, it could make her question whether she’ll want to pursue you.

12. Last but not least, you need to make dating a PRIORITY! Everyone gets set into our ways and everyone is busy. Maybe you work a lot, travel often and choose to spend your spare time with friends and family. This is all okay, but sadly when it comes to dating this doesn’t leave a whole lot of room for someone new. It’s really important to set specific time aside for someone special. If you don’t, they will think you’re not interested and they will inevitably move on to the next find someone more interested in them. Someone that has time.

My husband Bill and I went skiing half day locally for our second date. He wanted to extend our date through into the evening and asked me on the chair lift. Being the matchmaker I am (for myself included), I already had a different date planned with somebody else that same evening. Regardless, I immediately rushed to the ski lodge, canceled my other date (that I wasn’t too interested in to begin with), and spent the rest of the evening with Bill instead. Now we’ve been married to him for 19 years. When I tell this dating story to the men, I try to help them understand how important it is to ask women out ahead of time. I canceled my second date, but that’s rare and doesn’t mean everyone will cancel their plans for you if you wait until the last minute. Most people usually reply with, "I want someone that would cancel a date to be with me". Everyone wants a relationship with somebody that makes you a priority and shows that they would like to spend time with you over anyone else. If you want to find someone you can spend the rest of your life with them, you have to make sure you put aside time to spend with them. I’ve met a lot of people in my career that tell me they would like to get married, yet they ruin that for themselves when they don’t make the time for their date to build a proper relationship. When meeting your friends for cocktails becomes more important to you than getting to know the person you're interested in that could possibly be your significant other, then you will continue to be single for a very long time. 

I have been a professional matchmaker for more than 22 years, and I continue to watch people make the same mistakes I made when I was single. I was single after being divorced for 7 years, and as a working mother of two I was constantly working and taking care of my family. I decided to join with a matchmaker and my husband Bill happened to be my first date. He's very handsome, genuine, caring and a respectful man. He was incredibly different from any of the other man I was used to being with before, so naturally I spoke the famous words "he's not my type." After we were first introduced to each other. An incredibly smart friend of mine, told me to go out with him again anyway because he sounded exactly like what I needed. She went on to say that my usual type was awful and I should move out of my comfort zone.  I’m advising you to venture out of your typical type too. I did it myself and it was a great decision.

Our clients at Elite Connections are devoted to finding someone to be with, and they contact us looking to find a serious relationship. Most of the people we work for are exhausted over trying to use other dating alternatives that have ended in failure. That’s why they come to us for help that works. The majority of our clientele consists of hard-working and successful professionals that want their privacy. Because of this most of them prefer to stay away from online dating since because they don’t want their photos being posted online for everyone to see. Not everyone work with listens to our dating advice, but the ones that do are successful at finding love.

Contact Sherri Murphy CEO of Elite Connections and matchmaking team for your chance at finding love year.

800-923-4200 Read About Elite Connections International