Love, Self

5 Reasons Why A Relationship With An Introvert Boyfriend Can Be The Best Thing To Happen To You

Photo: unsplash/Kinga Cichewicz
5 Reasons Why A Relationship With An Introvert Boyfriend Can Be The Best Thing To Happen To You

Why do girls find the outgoing football quarterback most attractive? Why does a charismatic "bad boy" have beautiful girls falling all over him?

Could the nerdy introvert ever measure up to a "sexy" bad boy and be the best boyfriend you'll ever be in a relationship with?

Well, here's the answer: Yes.

RELATED: 5 Important Things Introverted Men Need In A Relationship

Extroverted football heroes and other heartthrobs deeply impress some girls. Without knowing it, girls get "stamped" on the inside with the "Wow!" factor. Once a girl is smitten with a bad boy, she chases that type for years.

The fact is, savvy women know a secret: introverts are very hot.

Even though outgoing guys get all the great girls, introverted guys have a lot to offer. Smart, nerdy guys are usually better students who achieve more in school and have more successful adult lives.

What does that mean? Through adult eyes, introversion looks a lot more desirable in a man. Success is sexy. Even if a guy isn't a manager at his company, if he has a good job that pays well, that's hot.

According toForbes, a full 40 percent of executives describe themselves as introverts, including Microsoft’s Bill Gates, über-investors Warren Buffett and Charles Schwab, Avon’s CEO Andrea Jung, and the late publishing giant Katharine Graham.

But, in order to have healthy relationships with them, introverts might need a little assistance from you.

You might need to actually approach shy men and make it easier for them to connect with you. But, it's worth it because successful introverts have exactly what women are hungering for.

When you accept the hidden treasure in your introverted boyfriend, you can maximize your connection by boosting his natural strengths.

Here are 5 reasons why introverts make great boyfriends.

1. They listen more than they talk

Introverted lovers think before they speak. It's natural for them to consider all options before they respond.

Some women get frustrated or hurry over the silence. It's super important to remember that introverts process information by listening and not talking. You may need time to get used to your introverted lover's pace.

An introvert’s natural calm doesn’t mean he doesn’t care, though. In fact, the strongest person in the room is often the quietest.

Since an introvert doesn’t waste words, he says only what he means. We love when a man listens and hears what we say.

Girlfriend tip: Ask your introvert when his best time to talk is. Some guys are better in the morning over coffee, others at the end of the day.Plan a chat time that's good for both of you and put a limit on it.

A 20-minute chat over coffee gives your guy the assurance that you will cut to the chase and cover the basics of whatever is going on. Be sure to leave him plenty of time to respond to a question.

Once you ask something, do not speak until he answers. (But that's easier said than done.)

2. They like deep issues

Introverts tend to enjoy meaningful conversations. Superficial chatting isn't really on their menu — they tend to ask great questions and really tune in to the answers.

Once a chatty woman decides she can settle down and show her real self to this man, she can build a deep connection with him.

Introverts really do want to now what their significant other is thinking and how they can support her.

Girlfriend tip: Pay attention to the things that fascinate your introvert. He may have political, technical or financial interests. Ask sincere questions about something he's interested in.

Show interest in what attracts him to his passions. Again, if it takes him time to formulate his answer, wait. The best gift you can give him is time to process your question.

3. They are experts at staying calm

Introverted lovers are low-key. During stressful times, they project a reassuring, calm confidence. It's natural for an introvert to speak slowly and softly to make a point.

They prepare for confrontations and may even rehearse before talking to their partner. A mature introvert may also coach himself internally by dismissing negative thoughts.

Able to see the big picture because of standing back and observing, an introverted lover projects security — and that's sexy.

Girlfriend tip: Compliment your introvert on his calm nature. Affirm that you feel safe and comfortable because of it. His emotions may not go to the extremes of the spectrum, and he's probably had someone call him boring.

Assure him that his steady nature is very soul-soothing. Value his quiet nature and he will thrive when he's with you.

RELATED: 11 Personality Traits That Make It Way Harder For Introverts To Find Love

4. They prefer texting to talking

Introverts text more than they talk. They are sometimes very happy, barely even speaking after work.

If he has a job where he interacts with people all day, he's probably drained when he gets home. It's way easier for him to text you a cute flirty text than to talk on the phone.

One couple I know uses a shared journal kept on the living room table. Each member of the couple writes what they appreciate about the other as a daily practice.

Their evenings are quiet because they agree to spend time together without speaking.

Personally, I love when my guy texts me from the other room. Romantic texts are always sexy.

Girlfriend tip: Set some parameters with your text expectations — some introverts feel overwhelmed by a lot of texting. Try to mimic your guy's ideal texting length and frequency.

Be sure to respond right away when he texts you (no games). Be fun and playful. It may surprise you that your introvert is a bit more flirty and light-hearted than you expected through text.

And be sure to praise him for how fun he is! It's a real heart opener for an introverted guy.

5. They love their alone time

Introverts find that spending time alone is energizing. Being with a high energy girl is exhausting for them. If you have a heavy social schedule, he may need to withdraw to recharge.

Part of what makes an introverted man such a great partner is his tendency to respond instead of react. When he withdraws to process something, it's a good thing.

A confident introverted lover knows he needs alone time. He understands what he needs and communicates it clearly and consistently with his partner.

When you adjust to his needs for alone time, he will thrive and you will benefit from his recharge time.

Girlfriend tip: Whatever you can do to help your introvert take his alone time when needed will really pay off. Many women are insecure and feel abandoned when a man goes dark for a few hours.

But, let him rest and recharge. If his downtime habits take more time than you're comfortable with — like an 8 hour video game marathon — plan a time to talk about your needs.

If you've been struggling to find a healthy relationship with a great guy, I promise you that introverts are much hotter than you know. It's time to give them a chance to love you.

And if you're curious about how to draw an introvert out of his shell and open up to you, you'll love David Wygant's Connect With Him Program. He tells you step-by-step exactly how to approach shy and introverted guys.

RELATED: 7 Ways Type-B Personalities Love Differently

Catherine Behan is a Dating, Sex and Intimacy Coach practicing in San Diego, CA. For a free 20-minute chat to explore your dating style or lack thereof, make an appointment with her.