3 Sad Reasons Married Couples Stop Kissing (And Why You Should Fix That)

Passion doesn't have to end after you marry.

Why Couples No Longer French Kiss After Marriage Joanna Nix via Unsplash

The French kiss is the signature kissing style during the ‘falling in love’ period. But sadly, after marriage, it often takes a backseat.

For many married couples, romantic love is no longer a priority as passion goes out the window.

RELATED: How To French Kiss Better Than Anyone Else (Yes, Really!)


It is wonderful to see couples enjoy deep kissing with perfect concentration wherever they find themselves, completely ignoring who’s around them.

They lustfully merge with each other’s energy and fluids, which starts to speed up the production of happy hormones.

Unfortunately, most lovers who have been together for more than 2 or 3 years avoid French kissing and substitute it with smooching or pecking kisses that, in most cases, diminish the turn-on instead of increasing it.

Why does this happen? Why do people stop French kissing, especially after marriage?

Here are 3 reasons why.

1. They are too busy

Married life can get hectic. Over time, couples do not want to bother with French kissing because they have busy lives and are often tired.


They might also think that the relationship is solid enough, so they feel that they don't have to invest in it as much as before.

They rationalize that French kissing takes more energy than a regular peck on the cheek and superficial lip kissing. They no longer remember how much French kissing awakens passionate energy and deeper connection.

2. They feel ignored by their partner

Another reason is that perhaps one or both of you have built up levels of resentment that chokes the energy. A woman is especially sensitive about not being ‘seen’ or ‘acknowledged’ by her partner.

In the beginning, couples French kiss often and passionately, reveling in each other's deep embraces. French kissing is a real turn on and often precedes sex.


But as you get into a routine, passion may begin to die down. Couples no longer try as hard to wow each other.

RELATED: 8 Things Every Guy Wishes You Knew About French Kissing

3. They can't express what they want

Another reason that many couples stop French kissing is that one or both partners feel misunderstood and they don't have the communication skills to express their needs and desires.


If you have a desire that you have squelched, how can you long for a passionate kiss?

The passion cannot move through your veins unless there is complete freedom to be yourself and express yourself, the kind of freedom you were giving to each other when you met.

For French kissing to happen, your energies must be unblocked and move freely.

As stated by John Gray in Men are from Mars and Women from Venus, most men love direct communication and most women love a more circular way of communication. When men retreat to their cave to cool off, women are churning the issue in their heads

In the beginning, romantic relating is easy, but later, as the complexity of life takes over, it’s important to set up a time to communicate and express your desires.


When there is clear communication, there is passion.

If communication is clear and flowing, resentment — one of the killers of love — does not build up. You want the best for your lover, not resent him. This is not selfish, it’s self-full.

Why settle for a little bit of hard candy when you can have a delicious chocolate morsel? French chocolate, perhaps?


Make time for French kissing. It’s good for your soul. And if you don't know to French kiss, it's time to learn.

French kissing is one of the ways to keep the relationship firing on all cylinders.

RELATED: Pucker Up: The Origin Of The French Kiss

Carla Tara is a psychotherapist, Tantra master, relationship counselor, intimacy expert, and public speaker. If you enjoyed the article and want to learn about other intimacy secrets, please visit 1tantra.com.

YourTango may earn an affiliate commission if you buy something through links featured in this article.