How To Truly Know If You're In Love And It's Not Just Lust

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How To Truly Know If You're In Love And It's Not Just Lust
Love, Sex

Find out if you're in lust or in love.

Love and lust are two very different concepts that involve different things.

Lust usually involves a strong sexual desire, intense physical attraction, and the desire to be touched by another person. The focus of lust is usually based on physical desires and needs rather than being emotionally involved with a person. Lust is also related to the chemistry and sexual desire one feels for another.

When you’re in love, it’s a totally different level of attraction. It’s no longer based solely on physical attraction. Being in love involves an emotional connection that is felt by both partners. Sex means more than just feeling good and involves more passion and desire on an emotional level between partners and is not purely physical.

Many of us mistake lust for love and it’s easy to do when you’re involved with someone. It’s easy to overlook the major differences between love and lust that would help you sort out how you feel and what you feel.

Here are the differences between lust and love in order to truly know that you're in love.

When you’re in lust…

  • You both focus more on each other's body and physical characteristics. 
  • You fantasize about being touched by another or having sexual experiences with another who is not your partner.
  • There is no intimacy or feelings involved or discussed.
  • There is no friendship or emotional bond.
  • You say what they want to hear and not what they need to hear.
  • You have minimal eye contact.
  • You both rarely bring each other around your respective friends and family.

When you’re in love…

  • Your partner's mood directly affects you.
  • While you’re out and about, things you see or hear start reminding you of your partner.
  • Time spent together never feels like a waste.
  • You would rather spend a night on the couch binge watching Netflix with the person than go out.
  • They make you motivated to be a better person.
  • You show interest and care about things they are passionate about.
  • You compromise with one another.
  • You are trying new things because of that person.

So, are you in love or in lust?

If you want to truly know if you’re in love and not simply in lust, make sure you think about both sides of the relationship.

When you two are together, is it usually about sex? If so, do you cuddle after or leave shortly after?

If you leave shortly after, chances are you are in lust. If you cuddle after or stay to hang out and talk, it’s more likely you’re in love. If you’re interested about his passions in life and vice-versa, it is usually because you’re in love and not lust.

There are extreme differences between love and lust that may seem so little or subtle but really make a difference. Love involves an emotional bond between two people. It isn't just surface level or small talk when you two are together.

There are deep and meaningful conversations between the two of you if you are in love. The biggest difference is the emotional component in the relationship for you to be in love as opposed to lust which is more desire and physical.

Brittney Lindstrom is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Rehabilitation Counselor.