5 Reasons To Look Forward To Your 50s ... In Bed

grey haired woman smiling
Love

I can say from personal experience that your 50s are the best time to experience love. While you might have been hooking up all over the place in your 20s, your choices were probably pretty crappy because you — like me in my 20s — had no idea what would create any kind of real happiness in your life.

Your 30s are all about turning into a grownup, making long-term plans, dealing with children and moving up ladders. In your 40s, you juggle all the responsibilities you created in your 30s including, for many, cleaning up past missteps. 

And then you blink, and you are in our 50s. You finally get to start living some of your dreams instead of just planning them. All your experiences before then — the joyful, educational and even the painful — prepared your for creating a delicious life in the years ahead — a life that most definitely includes grownup love.

As a dating and relationship coach for women over 40 and someone who became a first-time bride at age 47, I have both personal and professional experience with the pleasures of love after 50. Whether you're single, dating and looking for love or in a relationship and thinking it could be even better, here are five reasons why love can be so much lovelier after age 50:

1. It's me-me-me time. You are not running after little kids anymore, having to prove yourself in a career or trying to keep up with the Joneses. That means less exhaustion, more time in your schedule and extra room in your finances to splurge a bit more. There is more physical and emotional space for playfulness, love and sex. You haven't forgotten about everyone else, you just know you are only responsible for your own happiness. It's time to give yourself permission to have a whole lot of me-time.

2. You know fairytale from fact. After decades of fantasies and hopes of Prince or Princess Charming appearing, you can finally give up your unrealistic romantic notions that only lead to disappointment. The fantasy of finding or being a perfect "10" has passed, and good riddance! You are okay knowing that life can be unfair and people are complex. You kindly allow for others' frailties and blunders, as well as your own. This more realistic view of the world relieves much added pressure and translates to a far greater ability to love and be loved.

3. Your sex hormones meet in the middle. The volatility of the reproductive years has ended and your brain chemistry is rebalancing estrogen and testosterone. Men relax and become more comfortable with their feminine sides and women often seek fulfillment in their lives from a sense of mastery (their masculine sides). Gail Sheehy, the best selling author, contends that middle age is a time when our brains become more like the opposite sex. Women can enjoy "postmenopausal zest" and men explore "serene potency." Our differences fade, and we meet on more common ground. Add to that our greater ability and willingness to communicate, and it's the perfect time for men and women to explore and increase our intimacy. 

More love advice from YourTango:

4. Your passion hasn't petered out. Quite the opposite. An AARP study of men and women over 50 found that 70 percent of 50-64 year-olds and 63 percent of people 65 and over report being currently in love. And for those over 65, 46 percent reported being passionately in love. Your body may not be 25 any longer, but your capacity for romantic love is intact and better than ever.

5. You don't sweat the small stuff anymore. Your parents are aging or have passed on. You've experienced your own or our peers' illnesses and debilities. You are up close and personal with the fragility of life, forever reminding you that you don't have forever to get it right. That perspective, which can be non-existent in earlier years, allows you to let go of the little stuff. to focus on what counts and how to be happy. Those are the keys ingredients of making good choices and creating a loving, long-lasting relationship.

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If you are not already, there is no better time than now to focus on this part of your life. We may be in our 50s, 60s, 70s or beyond, but we've still got it going on in the love and romance department. Coupled with our smarts and life experience, this is most definitely the time to take advantage of this beautiful oh-so sweet spot of love.

Bobbi Palmer, founder of Date Like A Grownup, is an internationally recognized Expert helping women over 40 find grownup, lasting, passionate love with the right man. As a first time bride at 47, Bobbi shares in her free video series "The 4 Devastating Mistakes Women in their Search for Love" at DateLikeaGrownup.com.