Never Take Relationship Advice From Friends With These 14 Personality Traits

It may sound pretty obvious who not to take relationship advice from but I bet you do it all the time. There is one person you should not get relationship advice from — your friend who is struggling with relationship problems herself and not doing anything constructive about it.

Knowing who not to take relationship advice from is important.

If you are turning to your girlfriend for relationship advice, how healthy is her relationship? Remember what Einstein said ... something to the effect of a problem cannot be solved from the consciousness from which it was created.

If your girl friend is stuck in a bad relationship (you know the type — the one who loves too much and loses herself in a relationship. And I'm not trying to bad rap women either. I just want you to be aware), this lovely lady is not one to turn to for relationship advice.

She can't help you in that department. So keep that in mind.

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You might really love her. Maybe you've known her since elementary school and you go way back. You would do anything for her. And there is a lot of love between the two of you and I am not invalidating any of that. 

Go ahead and be open about your struggles in your relationship if you feel called to. I mean you both care about each other but don't lose sight that she's not the one to take advice from. It would be like the blind leading the blind.

More specifically, don't expect to get good relationship advice from a friend who has a victim or co-dependent behavior in her own intimate relationship.

If someone has these characteristics and behaviors in their relationship, don't take their advice either:

1. They feel unappreciated and used.
2. They assume what others want or need.
3. They tend to be over-controlling.
4. They think and feel responsible for other people's feelings.
5. They offer unwanted advice and give their opinion in an effort to be helpful.
6. They feel angry when their advice is ignored or disregarded.
7. They do things for other people who are fully capable of doing for themselves.
8. They don't validate their own needs and make others needs more important.
9. They try to people please so as not to make waves.
10. They complain about their situation but aren't doing something constructive about it.
11. They overcommit themselves to others.
12. They believe their mate is making them crazy.
13. They have poor boundaries (like saying "yes" when they mean "no").

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And by no means does this person have to be your girlfriend. Who not to take advice from can include anyone — your parents, your siblings, your co-worker, and your boss. However, you may not be as close to them and you may not seek out advice from them nor know much about their personal life.

Also, bear in mind relationship advice for women can be different from relationship advice for a man.

So... in a nutshell. If you are turning to your girlfriend for advice, make sure she isn't doing those things mentioned above. Even if she loves you and is well intentioned, she probably won't be able to offer you what you need in the department of advice for your relationship. You can still love her, of course, but be wary of taking her advice.

RELATED: 6 Common Pieces Of Relationship Advice That Are 100% B.S.

Anna-Thea is an intimacy coach, author, and teacher. She would love to hear from you. What do you think about relationship advice and who not to get it from? Her passion is helping women to have good relationships. In her Mastering Your Emotions course she teaches women how to free themselves from "victimhood" and co-dependent behaviors. Call her direct at 702-306-3984 for a personal consultation.

This article was originally published at annathea.org. Reprinted with permission from the author.