Moving In Together? 3 Common Relationship Problems To Avoid

Plus, the steps you need to take to resolve them!

By Anna Karimo — Written on Jun 27, 2013

Moving In Together? 3 Common Relationship Problems To Avoid!

You finally moved in together: a huge step! You've been dating for a while and you think this person might be the one, so you've joined the ranks of couples who are now moving in together before getting married. In fact, a new report showed that 48 percent of women between the ages 15 to 44 said they were not married to their spouse or partner when they first lived with them. But will you get along when you move in? Most live-in couples encounter these three problems, so be prepared and they won't derail your relationship.

Here are the top three problems couples face when they move in together:

1. Money: This one is very common issue couples struggle with and it shouldn't surprise you. Couples don't just bicker over money when they don't have it: They fight over money because they think it isn't divided fairly. One couple I have spoken with complained about not having enough money for basics like food and rent. The guy went out and bought a $70 pair of shoes and the woman was naturally upset ... until he gave her permission to buy a new, expensive purse. This is not a smart way to deal with money in a relationship.

How to fix it: Pool all of your financial assets. From the pool, withdraw just enough money for the things both of you need, such as rent, electricity, cable, groceries and the like. Invest savings into what remains and split the rest evenly between each of you. This way, neither of you will fret over not having enough to spend on necessities — and you won't feel compelled to nag your partner about his or her new impulse buy.

2. Housework: Like money, couples can feel that housework is unfairly divided when living together. In some cases, it's obvious who should do the housework. For example, one couple I know don't have kids. The woman works full-time and goes to school, but her husband has no job and plays video games all day. Yet she does all the housework. In my view, the guy in this situation should do the housework, since he doesn't have anything else to offer. He doesn't have children to take care of, doesn't bring a penny to the table and takes no actions (like going to school) to be a better provider in the future. However, most cases aren't so clear-cut.

More relationship advice from YourTango:

How to fix it: Sit down with your partner after you move in together. Decide who will be responsible for various tasks. Write down who will do what and keep your list as a reference. Listen to what your partner has to say until you mutually agree, then stick to it! If one of you start to slack off, you need to have another sit-down to figure out why and what to do about it.

3. Communication: The root of most problems, especially when living together, is a lack of communication. The bottom line here is: If you don't tell your partner what you want, he or she won't know how to give it to you. Communication is a two-way street: You have to listen as well as talk about what is bothering you. Often, one person in a relationship will shut down while the other person overpowers. In that situation, neither person is communicating well.

How to fix it: Consider how your words and actions affect your partner. Empathize with him or her. Timing matters when bringing up something that bothers you. Don't discuss a problem when you know the other person doesn't want to talk. Wait until you are in a low-stress situation, and be tactful.