Self, Health And Wellness

How To Enjoy Sex Again After Breast Cancer Treatment

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How To Boost Libido, Have Sex, & Enjoy Intimacy After Surviving Breast Cancer

As if it wasn’t enough that fighting breast cancer was an exhausting battle, intimacy problems and low libido may occur after the treatment. The good news is that the worst is already behind you and resuming to sexual activity is more than possible.  

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The crucial thing to remember is that you need to be patient and let yourself get there emotionally. Take a look at some tips shared in this article as they may help you restore your sexual confidence and improve your sex life after breast cancer.

Here are a few things to remember when trying to get back intimacy and sexual desire between you and your partner after breast cancer.

1. Don't get down on yourself for lack of sex drive

Once you go through a cancer treatment, you may experience a lack of sexual desire and lowered libido. While this is a situation that may last for months, the good news is that things become a lot better with time. The fatigue you may have been experiencing will be gone along with other side effects of the therapy.

On the other hand, your confidence will rise through time and you will learn to accept the fact that your body changed as long as you have the right support from partners and family.

Sex drive is the crucial reason why both males and females want to engage in a sexual activity. However, this type of activity may also strengthen the bond you have with your partner and even help you to get rid of some tension.

Do not pressure yourself to think that everything needs to lead to a sexual intercourse. Perhaps it may be a smart idea to start gradually. Why not begin with a hug or simply holding hands? The next step may be kissing or whatever else you feel comfortable doing. Over time, you will notice that your sexual desire will increase.

2. Build intimacy before having sex again

First of all, remember that intimacy is the key. Make sure to have at least a couple of hours to spend alone with your partner. You can use that time to bond or even talk about returning to sexual activities again.

It is crucial that you have the right communication with your partner and get everything out in the open. If you need something positive to focus on, think about writing down the compliments about each other and then reading them out loud.

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3. Be open-minded to changes in the bedroom

Keep in mind that it might be smart to try some other positions during sex depending on the treatment results. There are several reasons why you should consider that – perhaps some of the positions you used before are causing you pain or you just don’t want to have a direct look at the specific part of your body.

Focus on the quality of sexual activities right now and try to make the most out of the situations. Forget about comparing how it used to be and give yourself some time to get used to the changes.

4. Try something new to get yourself in the mood

If you are experiencing vaginal dryness from whatever reason, moisturizers and lubricants are the best way to relieve pain.

Consider spending some quality time with yourself first. You may include a vibrator or simply focus on your fingers. The treatment might have changed the way how you react to touches and it may be smart to be familiar with touches and moves that now feel pleasant.

You may consider boosting blood supply to the genital area by doing some pelvic workout sessions. Never rush things and pinpoint to your partner whenever you need a bit of time. Try to create a setting that suits you and can get you in the mood, such as music or low lighting.

5. Establish new boundaries 

Nobody should force you to be completely naked. If you do not feel comfortable for any reason, wear a nightgown or whatever suits you, the important thing is to focus on feeling relaxed.

Some women enjoy when they or their partner are stimulating their breasts. If a surgery or another form of treatment led to a loss of a breast, this can lead to a major change in your sexual activity and satisfaction.

You may notice that the breast area now reacts differently to stimulation and some parts can be less sensitive or numb.  
This is a very sensitive and personal issue that you need to consider carefully.

Each woman is different and while some may get their confidence back by allowing their partner to touch the treated part, others prefer them to steer clear of the breast area. You may have lost one breast and you do not want your partner to touch the other one as it just reminds you of what happened.

Do your best to be honest to your partner when it comes to what type of touches suit you now. Keep in mind that they may also have different feelings about touching your breasts now, which is why it is important to get everything out in the open.

Communication is the key component that will help you overcome any issue in your relationship, including getting back to sexual activities.

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Aneeca Younus is a health and wellness coach who focuses on helping women with their sexual health.