3 Rock-Solid Reasons It's Time To Break Up Once & For All
The relationship is already over, it's time to end it.
pixelshot | Canva There is an old saying, "Yesterday is the past, tomorrow is the future, today is a gift — that's why it's called the present." I love these old sayings. In so many of them, there is real wisdom that points to how to live your best life. Truly, each day is a gift — 24 more hours for us to choose how we want to live the rest of our lives. Yet how many of us start this new gift trapped in the past?
Nowhere is this more prevalent than on the romantic front. So many people break off relationships without really cutting emotional ties; or, they stay in relationships when they know it's time to go. Three reasons why people do this include fear, comfort, and ego. For example, you might be afraid you won't find someone new. Or, you might be inclined to settle, thinking "It's not working, but at least the relationship is comfortable." Or, your ego might convince you that you can change your significant other. But none of these are good reasons to hang on to something that's over, and here's why.
Here are 3 rock-solid reasons it's time to break up once and for all:
1. Fear
Someone I know says "There is a lid for every pot." I love that saying. Every person who wants a partner can have one who is right for them. You don't have to settle. Fear usually surfaces because we don't know what the future will bring. You worry the person in front of you may be your best bet. Coming from an attraction point of view, your best bet is someone who is uniquely right for you. Your job is to know who that is. In other words, get to know yourself. What are your values? What do you enjoy doing? What makes you climb the walls in frustration or irritation in a relationship? Now for the big one: What would your perfect relationship look like? Determine the answers to these questions; it will shift your attraction point to someone who matches what you are looking for.
2. Comfort
Like an old pair of shoes, right? Well, let's take a look. How comfortable is it really? Is it a feeling good kind of comfortable or just a familiar kind? Looking at it from your attraction point, what are your expectations in this relationship? I'm guessing pretty low. You've just become accustomed to the disappointments or irritations. Yet have you? Are you still cringing every time this person blows off something important to you? Maybe you are walking on eggshells around them to avoid arguments. My question to you: is this comfortable? When you have worked on the questions above, set your standards and expectations high. The people who come into your life will have to rise to meet them.
3. Ego
First, let me say without any doubt, that you cannot change anyone. People can change, that is true but the desire to change has to be within them. If a person doesn't see a problem with their behavior or way of thinking no amount of pushing, urging, or manipulating on your part is going to result in lasting change. The key is to attract people who have similar goals, dreams, and values as you do. Do you see a recurring theme here? Good.
To wrap this up, you cannot receive new blessings if your arms are still full of old stuff that isn't working. You have to let go of the old to welcome in the new. Remember the best way to attract what you want is to know very clearly what you want. Spend some time with yourself, and answer the questions above. Get to know what you want; what would make you happy. Nobody's indeed perfect but I believe someone is perfect for you.
Akua Bediako is a certified relationship coach, a certified passion test Facilitator, and a member of the International Coach Federation, and the Long Island Coaching Alliance. She helps her clients to enjoy life again, be set free of the baggage of their past, and be open to love fully again.