The Turmoil Of Being A Divorced Man

Women aren't the only ones who hurt during divorce. Men hurt too, but might express it differently.

man thinking

Some people think that when it comes to divorce, women have it harder than men. The reality is that men and women are a lot alike when it comes to feeling pain and inflicting it, except that most men may not necessarily show and tell the world how they feel.

Does It Hurt?

It is a common misconception that men don't get hurt when their marriages break up. It seems that our society, and especially the media stereotypes divorced men as womanizers, infidels, dead beat dads and irresponsible people. However, not all these conceptions are true. Though some divorced dads prove otherwise, some others get hurt during the process. They feel that they have to struggle to keep their family intact, thinking of child support and bearing with the fact of seeing their children once or twice a month if they lose child custody to the mother. When the question "does it hurt?" arises, these fathers do think so. Recovering from a messy divorce is not only for the kids and their mother, but for their dads as well.


Losing Interest With The Kids

There is also this myth that many divorced dads do not care or lose some interest in their children if they have any. This is not true at all. Fathers always care for their children. Some may not show it through affection, and some may do. But saying that men lose interest in wanting to have a close relationship with their children is more often than not completely false, and is just a generalized stereotype.

Men Are The Ones Initiating A Divorce

This is another misconception. People tend to stereotype divorced men as the ones who have initiated the divorce. Other people may think that men are the ones abandoning their families, leaving their wives for another woman, leaving all their responsibilities behind, etc. However, the reality is that many women are also capable and sometimes liable for instigating all of the things that have been previously mentioned. There are many men out there who are striving and working to provide for their family and regrettably are being cheated on by their wives once their backs are turned away. Not only women feel pain when traveling the road to divorce, but men also experience the pain and all this turmoil once the divorce is final.


Another difficult part for men when going through a tough divorce is sharing their assets with their wives who sometimes are the ones responsible for the divorce. Some wives may clean out their husband's bank accounts and assets, and even ask for child support in the process, despite then fact that the wife might earn a higher income than the father. Many women may even petition to have a social worker supervise the father while visiting their kids, purely out of the desire for emotional justice. These are just some examples of the turmoil many men experience during and after divorce.

Being a divorced man means you often have to work double time to compensate for child support and to keep their minds off their situation. For many men, it often takes months or even years just to cope with their new situation and reality. And there are some men who even cut off their social lives completely because they fear they might end up going through this same experience all over again. And unfortunately, there are some men who resort to alcohol, drugs and other addictions, and struggle with deep depression.

There Are Plenty Of Reasons For Hope And Optimism


Being a divorced man does not at all mean that life has ended. It is an opportunity to get back up, dust one's self off, and start a whole new chapter of life.