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Woman's Tactic For Hiding Her Crush On Brother-In-Law From Husband Generates Backlash Online

Photo: Andrii Kobryn / Shutterstock
Woman looking out window

A married woman of 11 years has gotten herself into quite a predicament, but not one that she really wants to be in.

Her situation requires secrecy so she opted to post anonymously on the subreddit “r/TrueOffMyChest” just to be able to tell someone what she’s going through.

Getting along with her husband's family is great, but she seems to get along with her brother-in-law a little too well and is afraid of crossing any lines.

Her brother-in-law admitted that he fell in love with her the moment she married her husband.

Recently, her brother-in-law, who was married to her husband’s sister, turned 40 and they had a huge party to celebrate the occasion — one that she stayed at afterward to help clean up the mess.

The still-tipsy brother-in-law revealed to her that he had fallen in love with her 11 years ago when she married her husband.

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This came as a surprise to her because she had also grown feelings for him around five years ago, but kept them hidden away and never told anyone about them, thinking they weren’t reciprocated.

Not only that, but she loves her husband very much and would never do anything to hurt him, nor does she want to.

“I was shocked. He has always been nice to me and complimented me but I never felt anything more,” she wrote.

“I tried to ignore him so he said it again. I told him to go to bed, he tried to argue but I insisted that he went to bed and let me clean by myself.”

She also revealed that he must’ve known she had feelings for him too because he asked her a question that left her crying for weeks.

“Wouldn't it be wonderful if we stopped pretending and just told them? We only live once,” he said to her.

She felt guilty, claiming she thought she was emotionally cheating on her husband.

Noticing how upset she was, her husband treated her with increased kindness, only worsening her guilt to the point where she grew ulcers and felt physically pained.

After all of this happened, the woman could no longer stand to see her brother-in-law, wanting her distance herself from the situation.

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She isolated herself from them, doing her best to avoid seeing them, and when the time came, ignored her brother-in-law altogether, but then everyone started to catch on.

“Soon my husband was irritated with me accusing me of not liking his family,” she wrote.

“[Sister-in-law] called a few times to wonder. Now she has started saying that I wanted to come between her and her brother because I never liked their closeness. I go to the dinners and ignore [my brother-in-law] altogether and [she] is mad that it feels like I hate her when I actually love her like a sister.”

Her husband’s new job offer could spell a way out of the predicament.

“My husband got a new job offer in a city that's 20 hours away. I want him to take it,” she writes. “But it's in a very small town and he is surprised that I, a ‘renowned’ city girl, want to move to a small town.”

She wants to find a way to convince him to take the job without stepping on anyone’s toes in hopes that the distance will allow for her feelings for her brother-in-law to fade.

Her brother-in-law is begging her not to move, but that only further proves why she needs to get away.

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People on Reddit think that she should just be honest with him.

One user by the name of “u/rhapsody98” revealed that they were in a similar situation and that the solution to the problem was telling their partner and distancing.

“I did the only thing I could think of. I told my husband ‘I can’t hang out with him anymore, here’s why,’” they wrote.

“My husband was understanding, gave me quite a bit of teasing, and allowed me to back away gracefully from the friendship.”

They revealed that the feelings took years to go away, but they did eventually subside.

“I don’t know your marriage or your situation, I don’t know if being honest with your husband about your BIL and why you want him to take the job would help or not,” they continued.

“But I think my situation was made easier because my husband and I have complete trust with each other over the fact that neither of us would ever cheat.”

Many people doubled down that what she felt was not true love and just a crush, lust, or attraction.

Others even commended her on her restraint and self-control to not physically cheat or pursue her brother-in-law.

In the comments, the woman revealed that she has thought about telling her husband, but has not given an update as to whether or not she did.

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Isaac Serna-Diez is an Assistant Editor who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics. Since graduating from Rutgers University, he spends most of his free time gaming or playing Quadball. Keep up with his rants about current events on his Twitter.