Woman Wonders If She's Wrong For Secretly Feeding Her Neighbor's 13-Year-Old Daughter Who Is Always Hungry And 'Under Fed'

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feeding neighbor's hungry daughter

When you become a parent, it’s your responsibility to make sure you give your child the best life possible. That means supporting them and providing for their basic needs.

But what if there was a child who wasn’t yours, but was in need of your help? Would you lend a hand, or stand back if their own parents decided everything was fine?

That’s what one woman on Reddit’s r/AmItheAsshole is asking after explaining a situation occurring right next door to her.

According to the poster, Mother-Simone, her next-door neighbors have a 13-year-old daughter, Nina, who is forced to live her parents’ “gym/health influencer” lifestyle.

This includes abiding by their nutritional advice, getting bi-weekly weigh-ins, and only being allowed to shower once per week.

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The poster’s children are around the same age as Nina, who regularly complains about being hungry. So, as any mother would do when there’s a child in need, the poster has Nina over for dinner 3 times a week (sometimes more frequently, sometimes less), and even offers her showers.

Since Nina’s parents weigh her bi-weekly or monthly, they noticed a “dramatic” weight gain.

Her parents just aren’t feeding her enough and the food they do provide is simply not enough... Well just before Christmas Nina had her weigh-in and she had, according to them, ‘dramatically gained weight’ for the 2nd time (they are literally exaggerating the weight gain and are acting like it’s a horrific thing to gain weight). They put Nina under a lot of pressure and she cracked, she told them that she would eat at my house,” the poster said.

Unfortunately, the neighbor's parents lost their minds over this, coming over to the poster’s house. Her husband had to diffuse the situation and tell the neighbors she “wouldn’t be feeding Nina anymore.”

But, as the poster asks, “If a kid is hungry shouldn’t they be fed? Shouldn’t that kid be allowed to just rest and not constantly be doing a million sports and exercises before they can just be allowed to unwind?”

The poster also mentions that it’s not like she’s feeding Nina junk food; in fact, she’s providing her healthy meals like vegetables, salads and chicken, which it seems she’s not allowed to eat at home.

Though there’s no mention of the type of foods Nina is allowed to consume at home, we can only assume it’s not nearly enough for a growing girl.

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No young, growing girl should be subjected to being weighed, and her food intake meticulously recorded. It’s way too much pressure for a teenager to have to deal with, especially when, according to OP, it appears that they may just have a fear of their daughter being overweight.

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Another alarming part of this situation is Nina not being able to shower more than once a week.

According to the poster, "Nina talked to my daughter about how icky she felt and my daughter let her take a bath. I came home to my daughter doing laundry while Nina had a shower. So I did her laundry. She went home clean and was able to hang out the next day without feeling embarrassed around the other kids."

At this age, teenagers are extremely self-conscious about the way they feel, smell and look. Putting an adolescent through something like this is damaging to their development, and that’s clearly something the poster understands.

So, no, the OP isn’t an a-hole in any sense of the word; she’s just a mother who knows that another child needs her help.

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Samantha Maffucci is an editor for YourTango who has written hundreds of articles about relationships, trending news and entertainment, and astrology. Visit her author profile for more content.