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Woman Wonders If She Is Wrong For Refusing To Pay Stepkids’ Tuition After Her Husband’s Ex Asked

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Family with teens

A stepmother is facing a moral dilemma after her husband lost his job, making it difficult for him to support his children.

She has taken to Reddit's "Am I the A-hole" subreddit to ask for advice.

Reddit's "Am I the A-hole" is a subreddit that allows you to explain an argument you had with someone and if you were in the wrong. You tell your story, and after deliberations, the community decides if (YTA) You're the A-hole or (NTA) Not the A-hole.

The woman is refusing to pay her husband's kids' tuition, and she is being called selfish by him. 

She explains that she has two of her own kids from her previous marriage.

Meanwhile, her husband has four of his own children along with two other non-biological children from his wife's first relationship that he helps raise.

Her post begins by saying that her husband, before COVID, was making twice her salary.

"His job made cuts, and unfortunately his was one of them," she says, but now she is making more after a recent promotion. Her husband's ex-wife, however, thinks they are competing saying, 

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"We moved to a bigger house, so she moved to a bigger house within the same year. We got another vehicle, and she got another vehicle. I thought maybe I was tripping that, that's not what she was doing, but that's exactly what's going on."

The woman also mentions that she has children of her own with a previous husband. He initially agreed to cover their kids' private school tuition but that arrangement fell through.

She now covers her kids' tuition herself and somehow, word got back to her husband's ex-wife.

So now she is demanding her kids get their tuition covered by her too. 

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The woman who wrote the Reddit post and her current husband have a joint account for expenses and then personal accounts but she has said in her post, that he can't afford the tuition. 

"He asked me would I pay for their tuition and he would pay me back. He doesn't care if they go public or private. He's trying to please the ex-wife," she writes.

She told him no and he said she was being selfish.

Her husband is already in debt for taking out college loans for his other two non-biological children and she has said that her husband has mismanaged his money all to please his ex-wife.

Is she the A-hole for refusing? No, she is not.

Many have supported the woman saying she is (NTA) "Not the A-hole" because this is not her concern and that he and his ex-wife need to figure it out for themselves. 

"This is not your concern. Your husband and his ex need to figure this out." One user wrote which many agree. 

Another user spoke saying she was NTA and that the husband should have planned ahead.

Some are asking why she is with this individual if he is in debt and expecting his wife to pay for tuition. The woman said, however, his pride got the better of him but she has straightened him out putting him on a budget. 

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Kurtis Condra is a writer for YourTango based in San Francisco, California. When he is not writing entertainment and news, scouring the web for the latest; he's reading his favorite books and writing in his journal. 

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