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She was fed up with being ignored.
By Nia Tipton — Written on Jan 24, 2023
A woman's birthday celebration took a sour turn after her husband refused to acknowledge and speak to her.
Posting to the subreddit "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA) — a forum where users try to figure out if they were wrong or not in an argument that has been bothering them — she explained that for the past two months, her husband has been blatantly ignoring her.
"My husband has been ignoring me whenever I try to have a [conversation] with him or tell him something important," she wrote in her Reddit post. "He'd just sit and stare."
She claimed that whenever she tried to call her husband out on his behavior, he'll "disagree" and promise that he is paying attention to everything she tells him.
However, the issue persisted and eventually boiled over during her birthday.
She walked out of her own birthday dinner after her husband continued to ignore her.
For her birthday, she revealed that her husband decided to take her out for dinner to celebrate.
While at dinner, she noticed that her husband was silent, and decided to break the uncomfortable tension as she was perusing the menu.
Turning to her husband, she told him, "I think I'm getting a headache."
At his wife's complaint, he responded, "Go ahead, sweetheart, get whatever you want."
She was immediately thrown off by his reply, which confirmed that not only was he continuing to ignore her but that he couldn't even be bothered to fix his behavior for her birthday.
While sitting at the restaurant, she confronted her husband about his lack of attentiveness, which he fervently denied.
At her husband's refusal to acknowledge his lackluster behavior, she gathered her things and stormed out of her own birthday dinner.
"I decided to gather my stuff and walk out. He freaked out and tried to get me to come back but I didn't," she revealed.
When they returned home, her husband blew up, accusing her of "behaving in such [a juvenile] way," and embarrassing him while they were in public.
"He said I ruined my own [birthday] when I explained how he was basically ignoring me. Now he's expecting apologies," she concluded.
Most people who commented on the woman's Reddit post agreed that she was NTA (Not The A-hole).
Despite Reddit users agreeing that the woman was not in the wrong for walking out of her birthday dinner, many of them pointed out that her husband may be suffering from hearing loss or some other medical issue.
"This sounds like the tip of a serious issue iceberg. Is he going deaf? Maybe he's suffering from an undiagnosed attention deficit disorder?" one user inquired.
Another user added, "Health issues are scary, and he could either be in total denial or actually completely unaware of his behavior. He might think he’s the one being manipulated."
"Sometimes people lash out when they’re going through a health issue and don’t know what’s happening to them/in denial."
A third user sympathized with the woman, pointing out that being ignored by your partner can be a difficult thing to let slide.
"I would be upset [too] if my husband routinely ignored me and then tried to gaslight me into thinking I was crazy for him very obviously ignoring me."
According to relationship coaches Susie and Otto Collins, there are several things you can do when you're feeling neglected by your partner — including working on communication, which this couple definitely needs!
But one thing they recommend is to avoid blaming the other person and focus on solutions.
"While sometimes they do need to do more it's better to go into the conversation with your mindset on finding a solution rather than criticizing your partner. That never truly makes things better. So instead try looking at what feeling fulfilled and satisfied looks like to you and how you think you can accomplish this. Then communicate this with your partner using 'I' statements."
They recommend that, instead of saying something like "You don't hug me enough" say "I feel like I need more affection from you so I can feel closer and important in the relationship."
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Keep up with her on Instagram and Twitter.