Woman Insists On Inviting Man Who Cheated On Her Friend To Their Annual Trip — Is She Being A Bad Friend?
She didn't want to go against her husband.
Tiffany Bui / Pexels One woman wanted to find out if she was wrong for refusing to kick her husband's cousin out of her ski trip after he was caught cheating on her friend.
She turned to Reddit to get some more opinions on her situation, and more specifically, consulted the subreddit "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA) to do it.
Using their stories to decide if they're in the wrong or not, strangers will rate people “NTA” (Not The A–-hole) or “YTA” (You're The A-–hole).
Her friend wanted her to uninvite the man who cheated on her from their annual ski trip.
The post started off innocently, with the woman describing a trip that she goes on with her friends every year.
It was something that her “husband and his friends were doing before [she] met him.”
Eventually, she and her friends joined in on the fun as well.
It was all fun and games until the two groups started mixing a little too well.
Her friend, Samantha, “was engaged to [her] husband’s cousin, Dante,” she wrote.
However, the engagement ended “because he was caught cheating with a mutual friend, Julia.”
All of her friends wanted her to uninvite Dante after he cheated on Samantha.
Samantha, and the rest of her friend group, wanted her to rescind Julia’s invitation as well.
So, of course, Julia was thrown to the side, but it was a little more complicated in Dante's case.
"I’ve made it clear to Julia she’s no longer welcome but things are trickier with Dante," she explained. "There’s no way my husband is going to be okay with uninviting him and knowing Dante, he’ll show up regardless."
Her friends then told her that the solution "wasn’t good enough and I was clearly siding with Dante."
Samantha was angry at her and kept "insisting [her] husband is just as bad as Dante if he doesn’t agree to uninvite him."
Redditors agreed that she was in the wrong for not siding with Samantha.
One user thought she was indeed the "a–-hole," asking "Why do you want to spend a trip with friends hanging out with a cheater who hurt one of said friends?"
"Also it says something about your husband that he doesn't care about the cheating enough to still want Dante there."
Another user agreed, "because whether you and your husband like it or not, Dante and Julia have both put Samantha (and everyone else) in an awkward, unresolvable position where Samantha and Dante simply can no longer be in the same friendship group."
"Imagine for a second what it might be like if Samantha and Dante both went on the trip," they continued.
"It'll be colder inside the cabin than out on the slopes. Simply getting them to 'stay away' from each other won't work. There's not enough distance in the world for that."
"Your proposed solution is unworkable and unreasonable. At the end of the day, it's Dante putting you all in this position. If you choose to ignore that and offer a solution that's plainly unpalatable to Samantha, then you're [prioritizing] Dante by definition."
Taylor Haynes is a writer based in Chicago. She covers entertainment, news and human interest stories at YourTango. You can find her on Instagram here.