Woman Ghosted Her Ex-Husband During Their Marriage And Lied About It To Her Current Fiancé — Now He's Getting 'Cold Feet'

She abandoned her ex-husband.

A woman and a man are arguing. fizkes / Shutterstock

The truth of a 34-year-old woman's past has come to light to her fiancé, and she's not sure how to move forward now that he has cold feet. Her past marriage had been filled with hardships and ended in abandonment. Now, her new relationship is under threat of falling apart as well.

She shared the story to Reddit's "r/AITAH," a subreddit dedicated to people asking others if they acted appropriately in a situation.


She ghosted her ex-husband during their marriage and then lied about it to her current fiancé.

"Before I was with my fiance, from 21 to 26 I was married to my ex-husband (34M). Those were some of the happiest and worst years of my life," she wrote in the thread reposted to TikTokShe nostalgically remembered the man she had once shared her life with, who, despite the passing years, retained his youthful looks that had captivated her years ago. 

"My ex was the most attractive guy I had ever met, and even now he looks like a 24-year-old instead of an almost 35-year-old," she wrote. However, their shared life was far from idyllic.




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They were caught in a frustrating cycle of dead-end jobs, financial struggles, and unfulfilled dreams. As creatives living in Alabama, they yearned to move to the cultural epicenters of New York or LA, but their situation kept them anchored. 

"We were stuck in dead-end jobs because we were both high school dropouts living in Alabama. We were creatives who wanted to save money to move to New York or LA, but never had any money," she penned.


lying to fiance about first divorce reddit postPhoto: Reddit

Tensions rose between the two, mostly due to their differing views on work. "Meanwhile my ex would get mad at me [for] not showing up to work and saying the people I served deserved basic respect from me," she wrote. 

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The woman ended up ghosting her ex-husband before meeting someone else.

Their arguments led her to a drastic decision, one that would change the course of her life — she left, without a word to become a nightclub dancer in Atlanta.

Years later, she found love again in the form of a radiologist, her current fiancé. Despite her past, she felt this was her chance at happiness. She shared with him her previous marriage but skewed the details of its end, afraid of his judgment. 

"I told him about being divorced once but said that we grew apart, and then sat down and amicably worked out a divorce," she wrote.

Her husband ended up finding out the truth about her first marriage. 


In the midst of their engagement announcement, a friend of her ex reappeared, revealing the truth to her fiancé — that their divorce was on the grounds of "abandonment." Confronted, she was labeled a liar and accused of being cold-hearted.

Her fiancé began to doubt their relationship, sparking a crisis that put their future together into question.

lying to fiance about first divorce reddit commentsPhoto: Reddit


"He said that this gave him cold feet about who he was marrying and that he wanted to postpone the wedding indefinitely," she shared.

Seeking judgment from her peers, she was met with a wave of condemnation. 

"YTA. You lied to your partner about something very significant," one person wrote. 

Another asked, "What assurance does he have that as soon as things get hard, you won't bail? Isn't that what you did to your ex?" 


Thus, she was left to face her mistakes and the potential consequences on her future, a grim reminder that the past could always catch up, even if she had hoped to leave it behind.

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Ethan Cotler is a writer and frequent contributor to YourTango living in Boston. His writing covers entertainment, news, and human interest stories.