Photo: Shutterstock / Antonio Guillem
Did she do the right thing?
By Ashley Darkwa-Anto — Written on Jun 09, 2022
After an argument with her husband, an angry 30-year-old woman shared her story with Reddit’s “AITA “or “Am I the A—hole “subreddit to allow users to decide if she was the a—hole in her situation.
This Reddit forum lets users describe their circumstances and ask other Redditors to evaluate the situation and decide whether they were the a—hole or not.
She needed advice after demanding that her husband pay back the “rent” he took from her disabled sister, who lives with them.
Because her disabled 23-year-old sister can’t work, the woman moved her sister in with her and her husband after their mother, her sister’s former caretaker, passed away eight months ago.
Her sister can’t get her own place and the woman says she would “NEVER ever put her in a care home,” despite her husband occasionally complaining about her sister.
Her husband doesn’t help and take care of his sister-in-law; therefore, she works and takes care of her sister by herself. She was okay with it and things had been going well for them—or so she thought.
Usually, her husband would take care of her sister’s financials because he is an accountant. Still, the woman noticed that her sister’s benefit money wasn’t enough to buy medical equipment or other necessities.
After talking to her sister and pushing for an answer, she finally admitted that her husband had been collecting “rent money “and had “told her to keep it a secret from [her]. “
She was in shock.
The woman called her husband home to confront him.
Initially, he had denied any involvement but then admitted that it was “logical because [her] sister is an adult living under [their] roof and so she’s expected to pay rent. “
The woman got angry and yelled at her husband, explaining that it wasn’t fair or right because her sister was disabled. The money was supposed to go to her care, so her husband should’ve never touched her money.
She then demanded that her husband pay back the money he took from her, to which he retaliated, saying, “it’s his house and he gets to say who stays for free and who has to pay.”
His wife gave him an ultimatum, telling him that he had to pay all of her money back or she would get the police involved.
Her husband was “shocked" when she mentioned the police and rushed out of the house. He later tried to talk her out of making him pay, but she stood her ground and gave him a set time to return the money he had taken.
The Reddit post left the internet torn, and Redditors began arguing about the right decision.
User “genkichan” decided to vote ESH (Everyone Sucks Here), calling the married couple out for their lack of communication and placing most of the blame on the woman for moving her sister in without her husband’s clear consent.
Although they condemned her husband for taking his sister-in-law’s money without saying anything, “genkichan” believed that he wasn’t “entirely wrong” for feeling entitled to some form of rent.
Other Redditors were unhappy with the ESH decisions and quickly refuted it, deciding that the woman was NTA (Not the A—hole) because “her husband is stealing from a disabled person.”
Redditor “Chocolatecakeislife” argued further that it isn’t about the rent because if he wanted to charge her, “he should have discussed it with his wife & had the SIL sign a lease agreement.”
User “_higglety” agreed, writing that what the husband did was financial abuse, and he should have “talked to OP about it rather than stealing from a disabled person and telling her to lie to her sister about it to cover it up.
Other Redditors felt that the woman needed to take all the blame and declared YTA (You’re the A—hole).
“Ryan233tiger” listed three reasons why he felt OP was the a—hole.
Some users like “rainbow_mak3r” and “Edenxwp” believe that the woman is wrong for being upset with her husband for not taking care of her sister because it wasn’t his responsibility. They also pointed out that moving her sister in disrupted his home life.
And some felt that just because her sister is disabled doesn’t mean she’s “exempt from [paying] bills.”
Ashley Darkwa-Anto is a writer at YourTango based in New Jersey. She covers News & Entertainment.