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Woman Asks If She Was Wrong To Pay For A Stranger’s Wedding Dress Instead Of Her Daughter’s

Photo: Dejan Dundjerski / Shutterstock
Wedding dress shopping

A woman posted to the subreddit r/AmItheA**hole (AITA) seeking input on if she was in the wrong for paying for another woman’s wedding dress but not her daughter’s.

The woman says that she and her husband had both grown up in poverty and worked hard to make sure their kids wouldn’t have the same experience.

She also says that they’ve taught their children the value of hard work and didn’t spoil them. However, they did pay for a few important things for their kids, such as their first cars and college tuition.

They also paid for everything in their first two kids’ weddings with one exception, their attire.

So, when the mom encountered another bride struggling financially, she offered to pay for her dress but not her daughter's.

On Reddit, the mom explains that their third child, Michaela, was preparing for her wedding day, they gave her the same treatment as their first two. They accompanied her to try on the dress, but she was on her own when it came to payment. 

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While they were out dress shopping, the mother met another bride-to-be and her mother, who had been through some struggles trying to find the right gown.

Both the bride and the groom are from low-income families that had to rely on loans to pay for the wedding. Additionally, they found very few plus-size options for the future bride, and the ones they did were “just awful.”

The bride thought she finally found a dress she liked within her budget, but it turned out to be more than $1000 over the budget after modifications to make it plus-size-friendly.

After watching her defeatedly take off the dress, the woman made the connection to her own past.

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“I grew up poor and I was also a chubby kid,” she wrote. “I was bullied and I was very unhappy. I always wanted more and in this bride, I saw myself and I didn't want her to have to settle for a dress that fit versus a dress she loved.”

The woman was so moved by this scene that she offered to pay the difference on the dress.

The overjoyed bride accepted the proposal and invited the woman to her wedding out of gratitude. 

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The only person unhappy about the gesture was Michaela, who was outraged that her mother paid for someone else’s wedding dress over hers. She is refusing to speak to her mother or father and has uninvited them from the wedding. 

“We’re so hurt and confused,” the woman wrote.

Most commenters agreed that mother-of-the-bride was not the a**hole.

Many advised the parents that they should withdraw their funding from the wedding if they’re uninvited.

“If Michaela has uninvited you to the wedding, she has obviously uninvited your dollars too,” the top commenter wrote.

Some also called Michaela “spoiled” for making such a big deal after her parents had already paid for the rest of the wedding.

“You paid for someone to have their dream dress because they wouldn’t be able to otherwise, and your daughter is mad that you’re ONLY shelling out how many thousands for her?” another top commenter wrote.

Some commenters dissented from the majority and instead voted for “everyone sucks here” (ESH). They said that paying for the dress on what was supposed to be Michaela’s day was insensitive, but still thought her reaction was over the top.

“I mean sure good for your OP [original poster] if you have $1400 lying around to help a stranger but do you realize how tacky that is?” another top commenter wrote. “You couldn’t ask for their info and send them the money later? You had to wait until your daughter's back is literally turned (trying on the dress) to do your “good deed?’”

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Jonathan Alfano is a writer who focuses on news and entertainment topics. He majors in journalism at the University of Central Florida with a minor in sports business. Follow him on Twitter.