Entertainment And News

Woman Debates Whether To Invite Mom Wedding Dress Shopping Because Of Something She Said Years Ago

Photo: fizkes / Shutterstock
mother and daughter sitting back to back after fight

A woman has posted to the subreddit 'AITA' (Am I The A**Hole) asking if she's in the wrong for refusing to let her mother go wedding dress shopping with her over something she'd said years ago.

The woman started off her post explaining that she has a stepsister, who she calls Jane in the post. Growing up, the woman had received more material items than Jane because she had both of her parents in her life, and her dad was making more money than Jane's dad.

The woman also shared that she had been jealous of how beautiful Jane was while the two were growing up, and always felt in her shadow because of it.

The difference in how the two were treated led to jealousy from Jane, including her acting out, going on hunger strikes to the point where she would have to be hospitalized, getting in trouble at school, and periods of refusing to speak to anyone in the house.

RELATED: Absent Father Wonders If He Was Wrong To Walk Out Of Son's Wedding After Being Excluded From Speech

The woman explains that sometimes she felt that her mother was more on Jane's side than her own because the mother would tear up and say she felt bad for Jane and how awful it must be watching someone else get a large amount of material items.

"She even considered moving out of the house for a couple years so Jane didn't have to look at my things," the woman wrote in her Reddit post.

Once, when Jane had thrown a fit, the woman's mother had snapped at her to stop because life isn't fair, telling Jane that the woman probably wants her looks just as badly as Jane wants her things, but life isn't fair and she can't have them in the same way that the woman can't be as beautiful as Jane.

"My mom tried to brush if off after the fact and said no one will ever be as pretty as Jane so it isn't a big deal. That is something that has always stayed with me."

RELATED: Woman Wonders If She Was In The Wrong To Tell Brother’s Fiancé About His 4 Secret Kids Who He Abandoned

Jane ended up running away from home, according to the woman's post, and they didn't see her for years. Though, now Jane is back in their lives and the comment still bothers the woman to this day.

Jane ended up getting married a few years ago, and it was a huge event that the woman's mother had attended, spending a week in Greece for it, "so she has already had the whole mother of the bride experience."

The woman goes on to explain that she is planning on going wedding dress shopping soon and has decided that she doesn't want her mom to accompany her because of the comment she made that really hurt her self-esteem back when she was a teenager.

"I just feel like my own mom is the one person who shouldn't say that." 

The woman ended up telling her mother that she was going dress shopping with her bridesmaids instead, and told her the reason why. The woman's mother ended up crying, telling her that she was being unfair and only said those things to calm Jane down.

"She begged me to reconsider. My stepdad sent me a guilt tripping text and apparently Jane is furious and talking sh**," the woman wrote at the end of her post.

Many people in the comments of the post were in agreement that the woman was NTA (Not The A**Hole) for her decision.

"Your mother messed up handling both you and Jane’s issues. Jane decided to let her in again but that doesn’t mean you have to," one user commented.

Another user commented, "I get where you're coming from, you want to feel extremely beautiful on your wedding day and the last thing you really want is someone who, whether they meant it or not, compared you to another child in the family."

"It's rude, it's hurtful, and it's something a mother should never do ... even if it is to calm someone else down."

RELATED: Groom Wonders If He Should Cut Off Parents Who Refuse To Stop His Brother From Proposing At His Wedding

Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Follow her on Instagram.

Sign up for YourTango's free newsletter!