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Man Wonders If It’s Sexist To Not Allow Teen Daughter On Solo Trip To India Despite Allowing Son To Go Before

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Man with daughter

An Indian father has gone to Reddit to post on the AITA (Am I The A-hole?) Subreddit and ask people whether he is wrong for not letting his daughter take a trip to his birth country.

The man explains that he lives in England with his family and when his son finished his GCSE exams, he took a trip to India.

He wrote, “When my son was 16, he finished his GCSEs, and we decided he could go to India a month early to spend time with his [grandparents].”

He further explains that he dropped his son off at the airport and he reached his grandparents' house well.

He wrote, “He spent a week with my parents, and then took a train for 8 hours to visit my wife’s parents. He handled it well and there were no issues.”

However, the man didn’t want his daughter to go to India alone.

When his daughter finished her GCSEs, she asked him if she could go on the same trip as her brother. The man talked to his wife about it and came to a conclusion. 

He wrote, “We refused for the following reasons, the main one being that she was a young woman. I grew up [in] India, and even today you hear terrible stories of women and girls being targeted.” 

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He further explains that his son can speak Hindi and Malayalam well so he didn't have much trouble in India. On the other hand, his daughter has trouble speaking the language, having been born and brought up in London.

He also wrote, “She’s also very slight in build, [whereas] my son even at 16 had the build of a full grown man [he’s big into rugby, which helps], so he’s not exactly someone who looks like an easy target.”

His daughter fumed after hearing his refusal especially since her brother went on the same trip. 

The man wrote, “She was fuming, calling us sexist and saying we gave her brother preferential treatment.”

While this may come off as being sexist, the man might just be a concerned father. Having lived in India, he has the first-hand experience of being in the country.

Surprisingly, Reddit users were being supportive of the man and justifying his concerns.

Many people understand that the man is being sexist, however, he is right for feeling that way.

One user wrote, “I’m 23 and I still don’t feel safe going to India alone even though I know I will just be seeing my family when I am there. It’s sexist, but India is much safer for a male than a female.”

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Another user wrote, “India is incredibly dangerous for women who live there and know the culture and people. It is even more dangerous for someone unfamiliar with it.”

One person questioned the man whether he was being concerned or just sexist.

The person wrote, “It’s also important to understand how much of your reaction is pure sexism and how much real concern for her safety: would you allow her to take a trip of similar cost to somewhere safer/within the UK?”

To which, the man replied, “Honestly if she wanted to do a weekend away in Brighton or something with friends, I’d be more than happy to finance that and drop her off or do what she needs.”

Similarly, many people offered alternative places for the daughter to create a fair situation for her. 

Many people shared their stories and related to the man as well. The man’s decision was sexist, however, he had valid concerns for his daughter. 

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Sanika Nalgirkar, M.F.A. is a writer who covers entertainment & news, lifestyle, and pop culture topics.