Photo: CrizzyStudio / Shutterstock
Everyone got along great while working from home, but her appearance "surprised" her male coworkers when they returned to the office.
By Jonathan Alfano
Last updated on Jan 07, 2024
Ideally, employers hope that all coworkers get along. Not only to keep productivity high but also to provide a positive work environment for employees, which contributes to less work-related stress.
Unfortunately, that's not always the case, and sometimes coworkers don't always get along thanks to personality clashes or differing lifestyles and opinions — or even, as one woman at a tech company found out, because of physical appearance.
After getting along while working from home, a female employee found herself cut off from her coworkers once they returned to the office.
To explain exactly why and how this happened and seek advice for how to turn things around, a 32-year-old man who was delegated as the female employee's mentor took to Reddit to explain the situation. In a now-deleted post, he explained that he worked on a team of technology developers who had just hired a female employee.
The only woman on the team, as well as the only minority, he wrote that although she had initially kept to herself when she first joined the team, she eventually began warming up to her peers and even cracking jokes with them.
However, once the team returned to the office and she finally met her peers face-to-face, she noticed that they were much colder to her than they had been when they worked remotely.
Photo: Thought Catalog / Unsplash
When she asked why the team had shut her out, the man told her that the men were "a little intimidated and surprised" by her attractiveness.
After their conversation, she grew even more distant from the team. The man says he made an effort to include her, but that no one else even tried.
When he consulted his wife about the situation, she was immediately appalled. His wife explained that by telling the female coworker her looks and demeanor were the cause of all the awkwardness, he had placed the burden on her and made her feel self-conscious.
“She also said that my team are a bunch of 'scared little boys' who would rather stick to 'their little boy groups' instead of humanizing and interacting with women,” the man wrote.
When he tried to rationalize his thought process and that of his team members, he only dug himself into a bigger hole.
“I explained to her that she must understand that a bunch of pasty, nerdy tech dudes wearing T-shirts are obviously going to feel intimidated when their coworker is an attractive woman with exotic looks,” the man wrote. “My wife rolled her eyes and said that I’m ridiculous.”
It can be incredibly difficult for women to navigate male-dominated workplaces.
Unfortunately, women in traditionally male-dominated fields have several hurdles to jump on the path to success, and this woman's experience shows that much of the bias against women in these industries is not based on merit or personality but on looks alone.
"There’s a reason that women leave STEM careers at a high rate — men use 'being awkward' as an excuse for treating women weirdly," one person wrote in the comments, addressing the uphill battle women face in the tech industry.
People in the comments unsurprisingly sided with the woman, suggesting the men get their act together.
"Do none of you go anywhere but work? You’ve never seen a beautiful woman anywhere else (your wife?!) Never seen a minority?" one person asked.
"As grownups, we’re responsible for suppressing grade school embarrassment over our sexual attraction to others and for learning to behave like professionals at work," another added.
Sadly, it's often left up to the women to forge ahead and create their own success in the face of adversity. In a TikTok video, career coach Kirstie Mitchell, MBA, provided tips for women trying to navigated male-dominated workplaces.
Of course, as one person wrote in the comments, "this is the definition of hostile work environment."
“Sexual harassment in the workplace is seldom egregious,” Chris Chancey, founder and CEO of Amplio Recruiting, told Business News Daily. “Most of the time, it is masked in mild banter, inoffensive comments that are accompanied by sexual gestures or tones, or awkward but seemingly innocuous statements that portray people of a certain gender – usually women – in a negative light.”
For women who find themselves the subject of harassment in the workplace, know that you are protected by law and should report any wrongdoing to your company's HR department.
Jonathan Alfano is a writer who focuses on news and entertainment topics.