How To Tell The Difference Between Someone Who Wants To Be With You And Someone Who Wants To Be In Your Life

You shouldn't be with anyone who isn't willing to put in 100%.

Bran @bran__flakezz / TikTok

Trying to decipher whether or not a person you are trying to get to know on a romantic level is actually interested can be quite difficult sometimes, especially in the age of modern dating.

In a video, one TikTok user, Bran, revealed the easy ways that you can avoid wasting your time by spotting the differences in how someone will behave with and around you if they are truly trying to get to know you and become a serious fixture in your life.


He shared how to tell when someone wants to be in your life versus someone who wants to be with you.

"There is a difference between someone who wants to be with you and someone who wants to be in your life," Bran began in his video. He explained that when someone just wants to be with you, they tend to do the bare minimum when it comes to staying in touch and making time for you.



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"They wanna be with you at times when it's convenient for them. They want someone to spend time with when they want someone to cuddle [or] with when they want someone to smush with," he continued.

However, Bran pointed out that when someone actually wants to be an active participant in your life because they value your time and are interested in you, they will put more effort into the things that matter to you.

"They want to meet your friends and family. They want to go to those annoying work events with you, they actually want to build a future with you in it!" Bran remarked. "Remember the difference!"

A healthy and fulfilling relationship must happen with a partner who is putting in the effort to get to know all the parts of you.

As Bran alluded to in his video, being in a romantic partnership with someone who genuinely wants to spend time with you, get to know you, and is interested in all of the things you're interested in is highly significant and can contribute to a healthy and long-lasting relationship. 


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Most people who are dating want someone who is attentive and makes an effort to show up, even for things that they might not necessarily be interested in themselves.

Having these shared experiences can help strengthen the relationship and create cherished memories. Whether it's a hobby, travel, or any other activity, enjoying it together will only enhance the emotional bond between partners.

In the comments section, people agreed with Bran's assessment of how to tell when someone wants to be with you wholeheartedly.

"I need this. Identifying intent through actions has always been extremely convoluted, so I'm glad this popped up," one TikTok user pointed out.


Another user added, "Same standards like this I also have for friendships cause you gotta raise your romantic standards to the way you pick friends to avoid the BS!"

"Some are good actors. They do all that hard-core stuff but then live a secret life and hurt your heart," a third user chimed in.

It's important to realize that not all relationships are perfect, whether they're romantic or platonic; however, it's the willingness to be open, supportive, and understanding of each other's interests, and being active participants in your partner's life that really matters.


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Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.