Husband Explains The 'Frustrating' Question Men Should Stop Asking Their Wives & What They Can Do Instead

He explained that men need to do better to alleviate their wives' stresses.

Dad on social media / TikTok

A husband revealed the one way other men can start alleviating the stress from their wives' shoulders — and it starts with avoiding asking a certain question.

In a TikTok video, Isaac Colavecchio, a podcast host and blog writer who provides advice to other fathers, shared that there is a specific question that men need to collectively stop asking their wives when it comes to doing housework and other familial responsibilities.


He claimed that men need to stop asking their wives what they can do to help, and just do it.

"Hey, Dads. Here's a quick tip, something that dads should stop doing. We need to stop asking our wives if there's anything we can do to help," Colavecchio began in his video. He explained that instead of men asking that question, they should simply look around the house and see what needs to be done themselves.

"Look around the house, analyze the situation, and then just tackle the first thing that seems to be interfering with the peace of the household," he continued, adding that when he comes home from work, it's usually his toddler whom he'll take care of for the evening so his wife doesn't have to.




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Colavecchio pointed out that instead of husband stopping their wives and forcing them to delegate tasks, which only heightens the amount of responsibility they have, they should simply use their eyes and look around to see what chores need to get done.

"If [there are] dishes in the sink, do the dishes. If the kids are being crazy, take them outside and run them around. If the floor needs to be swept, sweep the floor. If the dinner needs to be made, make the dinner," he stressed. 


"Look alive, Dads. Participate [as] best [as] you know how, to the best of your ability," he concluded.

Colavecchio's advice proves that weaponized incompetence only does more harm in a household.

Sharing responsibilities as both parents and partners is an extremely important feat in a relationship and allows for the delegation of tasks so that not just one person is feeling the burden of all of the responsibilities.

When men fail to do their part in a household, it's considered weaponized incompetence, which is defined as a manipulation technique that involves one party faking incompetence to avoid regular duties. In simpler terms, it's someone "playing dumb" to avoid having to do chores or other familial responsibilities.

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Between men and women in a household, more times than not, a wife and mother is the one getting the children ready for school, cooking all of the meals, cleaning the house, and on top of that, working a full-time job.

According to a parenting survey conducted by the Modern Family Index, women are two times more likely to be managing the household and three times more likely to be managing their children’s schedules. Married women who are the primary earners for their families are three times as likely to volunteer at school and twice as likely to be the ones making sure all family responsibilities are handled.

Colavecchio's advice serves as a reminder that there are no winners in a household where weaponized incompetence is utilized, and that by participating in these small changes it can lead to significant positive outcomes.


By recognizing and addressing the tasks that need attention, husbands can actively contribute to a more equitable distribution of responsibilities. 

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Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.