After A Baker Discovered That Her Boyfriend Cheated On Her, Her Boss Advised Her To Stop Being Sad Since It Isn't Good For The Cakes

Have you ever tasted a sad cake?

boss, baker, sadness, work Vibl Studio / Shutterstock / Reddit 

After a woman was struggling to maintain a positive attitude at work due to an emotionally traumatizing experience, her boss sent her an alarming email, urging her to cheer up. 

The boss advised their employee to remain professional since she believed that her sadness was affecting her working abilities. 

An employer's email to an employee going through a breakup sparked debate over bringing personal matters into work.

A woman's colleague shared her story to the subreddit, r/antiwork, explaining that the woman learned that her boyfriend of four years had cheated on her. After making the heartbreaking discovery, she was struggling to remain cheerful while on the job, and her boss took note of her change in behavior. 


While the woman’s boss was aware of her situation, one week later, she decided to send her an email urging her to change her attitude since it was affecting her work. 

The boss expected her employees to show up to work with a pleasant demeanor despite what was occurring in their personal lives. “He was a part of your life but he is NOT all of your life,” she says of the woman’s now ex-boyfriend in the email. “We need you here and present at the bakery. That is another part of your life and hopefully a nice comfortable happy part.” 

The boss then requested that her employee “fake it until you make it” if that’s what she had to do to continue working hard. She claimed that the woman’s sadness was starting to affect the work environment. “You know we are in a small space and it gets oppressive for someone to be moping around,” she wrote. “Keep work work and and personal personal.” 


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The boss admitted that she and the rest of the staff were a bit “woo woo” and the thought of “all that sadness” seeping into cakes is not something that they wanted. 

However, she extended her support to the employee during the difficult time. “You can talk to us…but we need you back with us,” she shared. “I heartily recommend some therapy to help you through this. You WILL be okay, you will survive but it is unhealthy to embrace that helplessness and that he ruined everything.” 

The woman’s boss informed her that she was in charge of her life and should not allow her ex to have the “power” to destroy it. 

boss email to employee after breakup reddit postPhoto: Reddit 


The woman’s colleague who posted her story revealed that she “started looking for another job” immediately after reading the email. 

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Other Redditors shared similar stories involving their bosses. 

“I worked at Wally World when my little brother ended up in the hospital in August of 2012 from health issues due to muscular dystrophy. I told them flat out that I will work until the I get the call… [They] gave me four days bereavement plus a few more days for the funeral and just to get my head in order. Once I got back though, they gave me a ‘quarter review,’ and said they were going to put me in paint until I proved I was for the job,” one user revealed. “[They] fired me a month later for ‘poor performance’...corps don't give a s--t about you or how life affects you. If you aren't 100% for them at all times, you will be replaced.” 

“I was in an abusive relationship with a coworker at one of my jobs… I never stopped working, despite being covered in bruises I tried in vain to cover with makeup. I'd left my white lab coat at the apartment I fled, and I didn't have another one. So I just came into work in long sleeves but dressed smartly,” another user shared. “I was sent home by the pharmacist, and when I tried to explain, she said, ‘Leave your personal life out of work. We don't need drama here.’” 


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However, other users agreed with the boss that personal affairs should not be brought up in the workplace and that she was more than generous toward her employee. 

“The letter was worded well, the employer was sympathetic towards the employee and gave her a week to be sad in the workplace,” one user noted. “If she isn't capable of working within a week of a breakup, it's not the issue of the employer.” 

“Looking for new work because your employer expects you to be at work is a huge overreaction,” another user commented. 

While a breakup is undoubtedly devastating and a difficult time for anyone to walk through, it is best not to discuss personal issues in the workplace.

Personal problems can negatively impact one’s job performance, and productivity may experience a significant decline if they are not handled properly. 


It is important for employees to set boundaries to separate their work and personal life in order to improve the quality of their performance and maintain healthy relationships with their colleagues. If needed, employees can even take some time off until they are feeling 100% with a clear head, ready to bring their A-game to work. 

It is also important for employers to be aware if another employee is struggling so they can assist them with staying on task in any way they can. 

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Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.