Dad Makes Tasteless 'Joke' As His Son Comes Out To Him — 'My Mouth Moved Faster Than My Brain'

While his response was meant to be lighthearted, it wasn't what his son expected from him in that moment.

pride flag, boyfriends hugging, man upset with hand over face / Africa Studio / Shutterstock; Maxim's Images via Canva Pro

A father admits he may have gone too far and hurt his teenage son's feelings after learning about his sexuality.

Posting to the subreddit "r/AITA," he claimed that his 17-year-old son had recently confided in him about a huge part of his life he had kept hidden, and his father's reaction wasn't taken too well.

The dad made a 'joke' about his son being gay after learning he has a boyfriend.

In his Reddit post, he explained that he always knew his teenage son had an interest in men, and figured that he was most likely bi-curious due to internet searches he would make during his prepubescent years. However, last year, he noticed that his son had started bringing a boy around and, to him, it was obvious the two were dating.


"It was obvious they were dating, to the point I figured that he knew I knew, and it wasn't a big deal to anyone," he wrote. "Well, apparently, I was wrong."

dad makes tasteless joke after son comes out to himPhoto: SeventyFour / Shutterstock

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He recalled that after coming home from school, his son and his son's boyfriend had come up to him and announced that they were dating and had been for the past year. At first, he was shocked that his son thought he didn't know and admitted that his mouth ended up moving faster than his brain could as he formulated a response.

As a result, he ended up making a "joke" and told his son, "Well, that's [expletive] gay." At first, he thought the joke was "peak comedy"; however, he quickly realized that using the word "gay" in that way gave off a very negative undertone that wasn't necessary for the moment.

"Now, my son and I are usually pretty 'edgy' with our humor, this being fairly tame for the stuff we joke about," he shared. "While probably not appropriate for the situation, it wasn't our norm for a conversation between us. However, he and his boyfriend were very, very upset and left."

Upon noticing how hurt his son and his boyfriend were this father is now wondering if he might've taken his humor too far instead of showing support for his son, especially now that his son refuses to see him and isn't answering any of his texts or calls.


Coming out is often an extremely vulnerable moment for an individual, and parents need to respond with sensitivity, understanding and support.

While this father may have had the right intentions by attempting to tell a joke, his approach did nothing but diminish the significance of his son's reveal, even if he did already know his son had a boyfriend.

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While this father and son may share the same kind of humor and often make these types of jokes, it's important to recognize that this situation was different from others they may have had.

The context of discussing one's sexuality requires a heightened level of sensitivity and emotional awareness, and it seems this father's son only wanted to hear that his father accepted him and his boyfriend with love.


dad makes tasteless joke after son comes out to himPhoto: Lightfield Studios / Shutterstock

People agreed that his 'joke' was said at the wrong time.

"I won’t lie, as someone who has been out and proud for years that joke made me laugh. But your son needed support more than humor," one Reddit user wrote.

"I think if you just apologize and explain that you meant it in a humorous way and that you fully accept him and his partner, you and your son will be fine."


Another user added, "I'm glad that from the sounds of it, your son has a very supportive parent in you. A lot of us don't, so for real, props to you. But your son only had one chance at coming out to you. It's a big moment for him, and your response was to make a joke."

"I know you were trying to indicate that this wasn't a big deal to you in a bad sense, but I get why it was hurtful for your son and his boyfriend."

A third user chimed in, "You made a mistake. You made a joke that flopped. Now you just have to apologize sincerely and give him an opportunity to have a conversation on the topic that leaves the jokes aside."


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Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.