The Subtle Red Flag That Made Me Leave A Job Interview Before It Even Started
The moment that made me realize I had to walk out.
stock_colors | Canva Editor's Note: This is a part of YourTango's Opinion section where individual authors can provide varying perspectives for wide-ranging political, social, and personal commentary on issues.
Today I had a job interview. After years of struggling to get a callback, I was excited. And yet, I was a little nervous. It was a woman-owned business in a field that is famously male: home improvement. So, I spent a good hour trying to get ready to make a good impression.
I got there on time, introduced myself, and was immediately amazed. I’ve always wanted to work in an all-woman team, especially in a man’s world type of job. So seeing an office full of women chilling out, getting work done was my idea of a dream come true — or was it?
It didn’t take long into the job interview to notice something was off.
I waited for five minutes. Sometimes, interviews run overtime — no big deal. But then that five minutes turned to 10. Then 15. Then 20. By the time I realized the clock was getting close to 25 minutes past the original interview time, it became clear that something was really off.
No one was in the other office getting interviewed. The owner was getting a flight booked, thanks to two different secretaries. I was being dutifully ignored, as if I just blended into the background. It was a deeply uncomfortable experience.
I asked the secretary if something was wrong. She said, “No, just keep waiting.” Something felt off. Because I'm on the autism spectrum, I have a hard time figuring out whether I’m overreacting or underreacting. I felt disrespected.
fizkes / Shutterstock
After an hour of waiting to be seen, I left the job interview.
I looked up whether it’s a good idea to leave after waiting an hour. Reddit seemed to agree, so when the clock hit 3 PM, I got up and excused myself, mentioning that I had clients I needed to tend to.
The secretary asked me, “Do you want to reschedule?”
“Well, I’m honestly not sure whether I — “
The owner of the company, who was there the entire time, gave me a look of contempt. Then, with a wave, she said, “You don’t need to call back. No need.”
“Wow ...” I said.
I walked off the job interview site and made a mental note to never use that company’s services.
Any faith I had in the professionalism of that company was shot. I want to say that this is a unique experience, but in this era, it’s not.
Companies and recruiters have a serious issue with the disrespectful way they treat job applicants. Some will go so far as to pick apart potential candidates, use inane “tests” to see how much garbage they can deal with, and even rescind job offers just as a person’s prepping to move cross-country.
And you know what? This stuff needs to stop. Applicants are given no feedback as to why they’re not chosen, no “regrets” letters from HR so they can know they didn’t make the cut, and are often put into group interviews where multiple executives grill people on their skills. It feels like the hiring class wants workers to grovel.
I felt so gaslit by that interview because I honestly thought I was the problem after seeing that business owner scowl at me for leaving after waiting half an hour. But, if the shoe were on the other foot, I am certain I would have never been given the time of day.
I don’t know who else needs to hear this, but a company that treats you poorly before they even hire you is a company that will be terrible to work for.
I walked out of that office relieved that I didn’t get the job — a shock to even my desperate behind.
Job interviews go both ways. People keep saying that “no one wants to work anymore,” but is that true? Of course not. At this point, the vast majority of businesses and positions do not even pay enough for a person to afford a one-bedroom apartment in most major cities.
It’s not that people don’t want to work. Most people do want to work because they are desperate to be able to make a living. Companies aren’t paying living wages anymore, leading to many of us having multiple jobs. That’s why the unemployment rate is so low.
People want to work as long as they don’t have to deal with 1099 garbage, zero benefits, and low wages. The truth is that most of us are hitting breaking points where we’re saying, enough is enough. Workers do want to work. They just don’t want to be servants. There’s a difference.
Here’s why I am proud I walked away and why you should do the same. At first, I questioned myself for walking away. After seeing the attitude of the owner, that self-questioning gave way to relief and pride.
I realized that I was standing up to a bully and subtly showing that office that you can’t treat me that way. Part of my pride comes from my standing up for myself and recognizing my worth.
I’m tired of trying to explain to people that my time is valuable and I’m tired of trying to beg people to treat me with respect.
fizkes / Shutterstock
For the first time in a long while, I put my foot down by walking myself out the door. I may be desperate, but I’m done being abused by the system.
Nany, if not most, employers are using financial desperation as a way to exploit people. In the case of the interview I had, I almost got the feeling that the owner was doing that as some kind of weird power trip. In most of my jobs, I was an office punching bag, paid with no benefits, and often walked away empty-handed.
A lot of the work I did launched companies to success in a way that make others green with envy. I’m fed up with being treated like an afterthought — and I’m far from alone. The average worker results in a 3x ROI for the company’s owner.
So if you’re being paid $50,000, you’re likely producing $150,000 in profit for a business owner. That’s wild to think about, isn’t it? And when you think of how poorly employees are treated by modern employers, it likely ticks you off, doesn’t it? Good. It should.
Companies and business owners that are exploitative will often "prime” candidates by subtly putting them down, disregarding their time, or otherwise disrespecting them during interviews.
That means you need to be the one to recognize that you are doing them a favor by working for them. You’re doing every company you work for a favor by working for them. They may not always see it, but well-staffed companies are the companies that succeed for a reason. Business is a human thing. It needs actual humans to run well.
Companies worth working for are going to be companies that have uplifting cultures. If you’ve been in an abusive culture, you already know how bad certain company cultures can be. I remember having a boss who started screaming at the writer team (me included) that we were “all pigs being led to the slaughter, worthless and replaceable.”
Abusive company cultures are not cultures you want attached to your name. I swear, the toxicity ends up leaking into every aspect of your being after a while. If a company’s culture is abusive, it’s not compatible with you.
Contrary to popular belief, not all companies have abusive cultures. You know, not for nothing, but there are certain company cultures I’ve always low-key envied. I’ve always heard amazing things about Costco’s culture and the way they treat employees. I’ve heard great things about Lululemon as well, though that one is a bit more mixed in terms of reviews.
At the end of the day, interviews are meant to see how well you fit in a company’s culture. A company culture that already treats you as worthless will eat you from the inside out, then spit you out when they’re done. Ain’t no one got time for that…even half an hour.
So what now? I suppose I should be upset that I didn’t get the job, but I’m relieved. I’m also glad I drove the hour and a half to and from the interview site to go to the interview.
Why? Because I can at least look in the mirror and say I showed up, even if the interviewer didn’t.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
