Self

The Best Friendships Always Have These 3 Characteristics

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two best friends

By Cassandra Marie Vella

Everyone has felt the love and appreciation that comes with having a friend that really has become a best friend. But sometimes a new friendship hits that line where you can’t tell how close you may be.

When you reach that phase, we have some things you can think about to help you figure it out.

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According to Algerian-French philosopher Jacques Derrida, every friendship has at least these three characteristics:

1. You can talk with your best friend about your crushes.

Talking about new crushes really opens up a door of vulnerability that shows how much you and a friend trust each other. Opening up that door to let your friend potentially judge you or your crush goes way further than you actively realize.

If they can support you getting into a new relationship, or even coming out of a relationship, and you know you would be able to do the same, they may be a closer friend than you originally thought.

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2. You can talk with your best friend about your future.

Discussing your future dreams, plans, decisions, and letting them discuss their thoughts, feelings, and opinions can show a level of trust not every friendship shares.

Your future doesn’t necessarily include your friend, but if they’re active in these conversations, and share their own future hopes, plans with you, they may trust you quite a lot.

Opening up to this area of potential criticism can show your friend how you are here for the long run and hopefully they are too.

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3. You can talk with your best friend about your family.

Whether or not your friend has met your family, telling them about your family really lets them into your world. If you both share details about your family and/or your upbringings, let them see where you’ve come from and what has helped you grow into who you are today.

Maybe this friendship is an online or long-distance one and you haven’t even met this friend in person. That’s okay! Even more so, talking about your home lives will help you and your friend build a strong connection and possibly a family-like bond.

If you and your friend tend to do these three, congratulations: you are probably a best friend! Don’t make it weird, but definitely see what they think about it and don’t take it too personally if they haven’t thought about it yet.

Maybe they have other best friends and it hasn’t dawned on them that you’ve grown this close yet. Hey, you didn’t realize it until now either.

Have fun, and keep that friend growing.

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Cassandra Marie Vella is a writer, blogger, and managing editor for Unwritten, and contributor to Paige to Page and Under the Labels. Visit her website for more.

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This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.