Why I Disappeared: To All The Guys I Never Texted Back

You all have great qualities. They're just not ones that I'm interested in.

woman on ledge with phone getty

By Concetta Frawley

To all the guys I never texted back,

To some of you, I apologize. It’s not that I was trying to ignore you. It’s just that life got in the way.

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To others — there are reasons I didn’t respond to that text.

1. Stop asking for nudes

Let’s be real, guys: Women really don’t want to see that pop up in the text stream. If we’re all adults, I hope we’ve been through sex ed and know about male anatomy.

It’s an automatic turn-off. We’re not children, and this is not “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” Put the cameras away and talk to me.

2. I’m truly busy

I work a full-time job and, on top of that, a part-time job. I’m not glued to my phone all day. It could be days before I recheck my messages.

Between work, dinner, obligations, and sleep, there’s just not enough time. It’s the virtual equivalent of being clingy.


Men, you don’t like it when women are clingy with you. Why do you think we want you to be this way with us?

I’m honest with everyone upfront about the fact I’m an independent female. I need my space to breathe and be myself to be the best version for someone else.

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3. My intentions were clear

I agreed to go on a date. A date is a chance for me to meet you and not misinterpret the meaning of your words.

If I want to continue to speak with you at the end of the date (i.e., dinner), I will make that clear. If I don’t commit to another time to meet or you’re not what I’m looking for, don't text looking for another date. I said no.


4. There's excessive messaging

Overall, if I stopped texting a guy, it’s honestly because I’m just not interested. I don’t have time to keep entertaining someone knowing it won’t blossom into something serious.

I’ve learned what I want. If you don’t know what you’re looking for yet, I’m not your girl.

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I’m ready for someone who can say, “yes, you’re the one,” and put a ring on it. Not saying happily ever after, because Lord knows there are always trials and tribulations, but at least someone to see it through.

So for those who I didn’t text back, honestly, I lost the number and have no idea who you are. There’s a girl out there for you; it’s just not me. Take care and don’t give up.



The One You Should Forget

Each of you has potential, just not for me. You all have great qualities. They’re just not ones that I’m interested in.


You deserved a chance to get to know me, but who you see on day one is exactly who I am. And I expect the same from you.

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Concetta Frawley is a writer and author of Young Adult novels, with a BA in Creative Writing and English. Visit her author profile at Unwritten for more.