To The Guy Who Made Me Believe That Other People Can Love Me Too

Photo: Olena Yakobchuk / shutterstock
happy couple on a hike

By Ashlyn Thomson

To be good enough... what does that even mean?

I for one believe I am a very confident person; a person who does what she wants and deals with the conflicts when they arise. One who feels that she is pretty and smart and beautiful and loving and kind. One who cherishes herself and knows her self-worth.

I believe in myself to the fullest extent, but why is it so hard for me to give everyone else that same power?

I believe I am good enough for myself, although I always like to improve. I like to think of myself as successful but not too successful; to believe I have it all and still improve to make everything perfect, so why can’t I let anyone else believe in me the same way?

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I’ve always stood my ground about being a strong independent woman, one who doesn’t need a man to be happy, one who can live off nothing and still be happy, one who cherishes herself and is still happy.

I like to be a happy independent person but why can’t I even accept a compliment? Why is that so hard?

I’ve been in a romantic relationship for six months now, and this poor man has to deal with my hard ass all the time. He is so sweet and practically kisses the ground I walk on, except I can’t and don’t truly let him. He tries so hard to compliment me, tries so hard to give me exactly what I want and I still won’t let him, even after this much time.

So why? Why do I have to be such a pain? I’ve asked myself this question for so long but I think I’ve finally been able to come up with an answer:

You're an independent woman who believes in herself and the power of her dreams. You believe anything is possible and want what you want.

I believe in myself to the extent that when someone tries to make it easier on me and compliments me, I take offense and my guard comes back up.

The silly little comment rolls around in my head and I have to make sure that it doesn’t slip into my brain, that they do not compromise my bright, bright future.

But I’m silly to think that this strong independent girl would risk her future for a man who is just trying to help her get there. This man of mine, this magnificent man I get to call my boyfriend, I have a few things to say to you.

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The first is I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for making you feel less of a man because of how I would treat you after a compliment. I’m sorry for not taking in what you say and believing that another great human being thinks the same thing about me as I believe to be true within myself.

And, lastly, I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to realize this.

The second thing I want to tell you is: thank you.

You have allowed me to see another person who truly thinks I’m incredible. You don’t care about the flaws; you just love me for who I am.

I am thankful that you see the true me and can say your feelings out loud. I am thankful that you address those feelings and continue to put me on a pedestal every single day.

So babe, this was actually written for you, as it is my best way to address my feelings so I want you to know how much I appreciate each and every one of your compliments. How kind of a man you are and how well you treat me.

I know that I make it hard sometimes, but I am truly thankful for you and everything you have done/do for me.

I am sorry I’ve taken it for granted up until now but that will change.

Thank you for allowing me to believe that someone else has seen the true side of me and still loves/admires each aspect. You are so good to me; I'm in love with you.

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Ashlyn Thomson is a writer and musician who writes primarily about relationships and self-improvement topics. Visit her author profile for more.

This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.