I Will Always Remember The First Time I Held Your Hand

Photo: Rock and Wasp / shutterstock
couple holding hands

By Molly Guilmant

I will always remember the day I first laid my eyes on you.

We were both from Europe, we met on the other side of the world. We both stayed in this worn down country house in the middle of nowhere.

And the rooms were filled with people but I only ever seemed to notice you.

You were polite at first and you were curious about my name. I was taken back by your appeal towards me as I could see the other pretty girls flutter their beautiful eyelashes at me.

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Our words exchanged were very short as my nerves would always get the best of me. I tried avoiding you for days because my cheeks would blush anytime you looked my way.

It was that one evening I decided to come out to play. There was a large group of us in the garden, 20-25 of us, let’s say.

You sat beside me and picked me for your partner every game that we played.

The connection we had was electric. We didn’t speak the same first language but it was clear our thoughts were thinking the same thing.

I wanted you to make a move but you didn’t, instead, you walked away. My mind went crazy thinking about what I could have done differently.

You didn’t speak to me for days. I wondered if I did something wrong or even stupid.

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I wondered what it was that made you turn away from me.

Soon enough, you left the house for good, like a bruise on my arm that disappeared without a trace. I was sad and my vision felt warped when I came to the realization that I may never see your face again.

I had to move on with my life. So I had to forget this handsome man that had tugged on my heartstrings before he got the chance to hold it.

But before I got the chance to heal, you came back and blew me away, once again.

You found my account on Instagram and you asked me out for drinks with you and your friends one night. I felt hesitant to reply but I was soon whisked away by the thought of finally having the chance to hold you.

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You met me outside and I could see the twinkle in your eyes.

You greeted me with a kiss on both cheeks and my heart began to flutter. I went inside and you brought me a drink while your friend watched us curiously from afar.

We were laughing, smiling, and reminiscing about our separate times in the cottage we both lived in. All the while, my mind is still spinning as to why you had left in the first place.

You managed to pull me outside so we could finally talk in privacy. And you told me how you always liked me but you couldn’t understand your feelings and that’s what scared you the most.

You looked me deep in my eyes. I felt hypnotized by your ability to capture me in.

It was only seconds later when you took my hand from inside my pockets and held them tightly in yours. And that was the first time I held your hand.

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Molly Guilmant is a British writer whose work has been featured on Thought Catalog, Medium, and Unwritten. Visit her author profile for more.

This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.