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The only thing you can afford to be attached to is yourself.
By Unwritten — Written on Jul 28, 2021
By Tanzeela Sareea
You meet this person; they’re super funny and amazing.
They make you feel good about yourself and make you feel like no one has ever made you feel before. They’re courteous and chivalrous and genuinely want to get to know you better.
Basically, they’re that ‘right’ you didn’t think would come by, and they’re even dropping hints that they’re into you as well.
Then you had a great first date and you are always talking to each other on the phone. You meet a few times and, by this point, you are absolutely on Cloud 9.
You didn’t think there was anyone out there for you and here is this person who’s so perfect that has come your way, and you are totally in a fairytale. What’s next?
Just when you let your guard down and have yourself convinced that this person isn’t like everyone else, that they’re here to stay, is when things snap.
Suddenly, the frequencies of calls and meetings have reduced drastically and you don’t know what went wrong.
Sorry to break it to you, but what happened is that you got attached too soon and they backed off.
I am not saying that it’s bad to get attached to someone because I am totally that person. It just means you’ve opened your heart to others and are willing to feel intense emotions without getting scared.
However, you need to be smart about this. You can’t open your heart to anyone and everyone and then expect not to be hurt.
The problem is people like us trust too easily, get attached way too quickly, and in the process get our hearts broken.
Don’t we always envy those people who seem to be with someone and are emotionally a little distant at the same time? The thing is that they create a barrier, which helps them process things more logically.
We, on the other hand, get blinded by all these things around us and get attached. Expectations are the biggest reasons for disappointments and attachment too soon takes you down that road.
Now, I’m not saying to never get attached to anyone because as humans that’s not possible. However, know when it’s the right time or when it’s too early to do so.
In fact, many times things that happen too soon fizzle out sooner and that’s not something you would want.
Most people that are strong in their minds and secure in life tend to take their time to get to know someone else rather than just jump straight into a relationship.
Of course, some people connect more than the others, but you need to give it some time to be sure of how real this connection is.
It could mean you have low self-esteem or low standards that anything remotely positive a person does for you makes you attached to them.
It could be the case where you are one of those people who’s not good at being single and you jump at the opportunity of any prospect that comes your way.
Maybe you have never been self-reliant and just need someone or the other to complete you in that sense.
It gives out an impression that you aren’t happy single and you need someone in your life to make you feel happy and complete. It shows that you aren’t confident enough in yourself making you look very clingy and needy, which doesn’t go well with anyone.
This may seem really harsh but it is the reality of the situation. I have been left alone because of this way too many times to know how horrible the feeling of being attached too soon is.
Although, we need to understand that life is a work in progress, and if we don’t like the feelings that come after getting attached too soon, then we need to do something about it.
Just like every coin has two sides, the way it was wrong for them to break your heart, it wasn’t right on your part to get so attached and let them break it either.
The only thing you can afford to be attached to is yourself, as you are the only constant in your life.
I know it’s hard to trust and you are probably scared because everyone who told you they will be there left you with a broken heart; however, it’s time to change that.
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Tanzeela Sareea is an entrepreneur and hobbyist writer who focuses on topics of travel, relationships, and psychology. For more of her content, visit her author profile on Unwritten.
This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.