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People don’t remember the little things, so neither should you.
By Unwritten — Last updated on Sep 29, 2023
By Christina Donati
One of the hardest things to do in life is trying to forget about something that didn’t go the way we wanted it to.
We often find ourselves up late at night running different scenarios through our mind, the scenarios that we wanted to happen versus what actually happened. We wish that we said something else, we wish we acted differently, or we wish that we weren’t in that situation at all.
No matter what the situation is, we dwell on the past because we find it hard to forget about the things we wish we did differently. For people who find themselves living in the past too much, it is time for a life lesson:
It's time to learn how to let go of the things you cannot change.
When we spend a significant amount of time thinking about something that bothers us, something we can’t do anything about, we allow ourselves to feel so many negative emotions that only tear us down and break us apart.
If we allow this, we are allowing ourselves to be defeated by the negative thoughts that can possess our minds and become destructive to our self-confidence and happiness.
Think about it: if you feel as though you said something wrong, or there is something you wish you did differently, then the next time you are confronted with a similar situation you will begin to doubt yourself.
Once we begin to doubt ourselves, we become flexible to the idea of other negative thoughts, which can become overwhelming, and they can be detrimental to our mental health. We need to shut these ideas down before they harm us.
It is too easy for us to become filled with negativity and allow it to control our every thought and action. Soon, we find ourselves second-guessing our every move because we can’t let go of the things that happened in the past.
If we are able to learn to let go, we will be able to learn to push out other negative emotions and make room for only positives.
Things can’t always go as planned, and we need to remember that more often. So what if you accidentally said something stupid? So what if you accidentally embarrassed yourself?
People don’t remember the little things, so neither should you.
Let go of the past and move on. You can’t change the past, so don’t waste your precious time thinking about all of the ways you wish you could have done or said something differently.
You can’t, so don’t dwell on it. The more you bask in these negative thoughts, the less confident you will feel. Realize that what you said or did probably wasn’t as bad as you think.
Those of us who suffer from low self-esteem tend to think that situations are far worse than they really are. Just remember that what you think was so terrible, probably wasn’t all that bad to everyone else.
If you can let go of the things you cannot change you will feel incredibly relieved. Try your best to just brush it off and tell yourself “Who cares?”
Once you master this relaxed attitude about situations, the better you will feel, and the easier it will become to let go.
Letting go of the things you cannot change will help remove some negativity from your life, and it will help you tackle other situations that you will face because you won’t doubt yourself or your actions.
Instead, you will face them with the confidence to know that you can handle it the right way and that there is no better way you could handle it.
We can’t change anything, so just accept that considering the circumstances, you did the best that you could.
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Christina Donati is a writer and contributor to Unwritten. Her work has been featured on Thought Catalog, Diply, Narcity, MTL Blog, among others.
This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.