I'm Not The Type Of Girl You Think I Am

Photo: Erickson Stock / shutterstock
stoic woman with curly hair staring ahead

By Kristen Buccigrossi

You think you know me. You look at the surface and think you know me. You think I am like everyone else. 

I am a woman, therefore I am predictable.

I am an emotional roller coaster. I am needy. I am jealous. I am weak. I am dramatic. I am lonely. I am a chocolate fiend. I am a shopaholic. I am a closet basket case. I am a hopeless romantic. I am house wife material. Because, isn’t every woman?

You think I am “that” type of girl.

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You think I am hopeless. 

Desperately seeking a man for marriage and procreation by the age of 30. That is every woman’s goal. That is my only goal in life. I am not.

You think I am easy.

Because you do not have to try with me. You do not take me out. You do not call every day. You do not make any effort. You are the mastermind to this all and I am there at your beck and call. I am not.

You think I am naive. 

I let you get away with your tricks every time. You play dumb, I am dumb, you pretend not to know what is happening here and I believe that some day you will turn into Prince Charming. I am not.

You think that I am convenient. 

I answer every time you call. It seems as though I am waiting for you. Sitting by the phone, desperate to hear from you, to make plans, see you once again. You can come and go as you please. I am not.

You think I am “that” type of girl.

You think I am optional.

I have never been your priority. You have never followed through. You have never changed your plans. You have never treated me as anything but. I am not.

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You think I am a good time. 

That I do not need a type of commitment. Reliable for some fun, but no need to put a title on it. No need to worry, I will always be around. I will not.

I am this kind of girl.

I am the kind of girl that you should have given a chance, because I am better than the stereotype.

I am that kind of girl that is always the second choice, because you think you can do better. She is too nice for her own good. She is too naive for her delicate heart. She is too optimistic about people.

She is the kind of girl that will never cut you off. She is the kind of girl that will always give you another chance, even when you don’t deserve it.

I am the kind of girl that you fear, because she doesn’t need you.

The kind of girl that wants you to be at her side while she succeeds, but doesn’t need your help doing it. She is not afraid to be on her own, not afraid of what the future holds, not afraid to jump and fall. She is the kind of girl who is comfortable being single.

I am this kind of girl.

I am the kind of girl that would love to be in a relationship, but isn’t desperate to find one.

Doesn’t see life as a ticking clock. Doesn’t see the need for Valentine’s Day nonsense or social media relationship overload. Doesn’t want drama, jealousy, or a lack of trust. She is the kind of girl that just wants someone to be happy with.

I am the kind of girl that you can see a future with, but you aren’t sure that she will be able to commit to you, because she has something good going on for herself.

She is happy on her own. She is successful. She isn’t going to be sitting at home waiting for you. She is the kind of girl that can stand on her own two feet, without your assistance.

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I am the kind of girl you are secretly intimidated by, because she does not care what you think.

She is not afraid to have fun or fear that she may not be liked. She is not afraid to make someone laugh at her own expense or make an ass out of herself. She doesn’t have a care in the world what people think of her, including you.

I am the kind of girl that says what is on her mind, because being meek has gotten her nowhere.

She has been chewed up, trampled on and has come back swinging. She has watched too many chances pass by to let life keep her down. She is tired of people holding her back. She is the kind of girl who is tired of holding herself back.  

I am that girl that wears kindness on her sleeve, because there is too much hate in this world.

She is the kind of girl that will get her heart broken more often than not, because she isn’t afraid to put herself out there. She is not afraid to take a chance, not afraid to jump, not afraid to fall. She is the kind of girl that will always believe that there is good in people.

I am also that kind of girl that you are going to miss out on, because you didn’t take a chance on the real me.

You didn’t see that I was good for you, that I could have made you happy.

You didn’t see that I am more than just a stereotype. You didn’t see that I deserve to be more than a second choice, an option. You kept your eyes shut and chose what you to see.

But mostly, you didn’t take the time to see the real me.

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Kristen Buccigrossi is a writer whose work has been published on Huffington Post, Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, Unwritten, and more. Visit her website for more.

This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.