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It's just another unwanted side effect.
By Alice Kelly — Written on Apr 24, 2020
I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but whatever you do during coronavirus quarantine, don’t even think about texting your ex!
Isolation can be boring and lonely, so it’s no wonder exes have been crawling out from the woodwork in DMs, texts, and maybe even the occasional email. It's a real issue, at least according to a new survey recorded in the UK.
Researchers spoke to 1,204 single people and 1,492 people isolating with their partners. It turns out that feeling lonely during self-isolation is common, with 38 percent of respondents admitting to having received a text from an ex during lockdown.
This is just another unwanted side effect of the pandemic that doctors never could have predicted!
Why are people reaching out to their exes during quarantine?
There are a few reasons for this uptick in communication with someone who is no longer in your life.
1. You're searching for familiarity.
Now that everything from economic stability to human survival is an uncertainty, it makes sense that we’re searching for comfort in our exes. Relationships help us feel secure and protected, which are feelings we’re lacking right now.
2. You have more time to reflect.
Or, should I say too much time to reflect? With nothing but our own thoughts to keep us company, it’s easy to dwell on mistakes of the past.
Now that we’ve been forced to strip our lives back to what and who matters most, you might find yourself regretting the ones who have slipped away.
3. There's a lack of options.
Let’s face it: single people probably won’t be fulfilling any desires with a new person anytime soon. Without the opportunity to go out and meet someone new, exes can seem like the next best thing.
4. Imminent doom makes us reckless.
When the world feels like it’s ending, reaching out to your exes suddenly doesn’t seem like the most terrifying thing. We’re scared and we want to check-in. Plus, we may not even have to live to regret it.
5. Pure boredom.
Maybe you found his old hoodie when you were clearing out your closet, or saw your favorite photo of her while scrolling through your phone.
Either way, this is a direct product of lacking distraction. The mind has a cruel way of rationalizing behavior when bored.
How can you stop yourself from texting an ex?
Dating expert Pricilla Martinez probably wasn’t surprised to hear about this new trend. “If you’re looking for immediate assurance that everything is going to be okay, you’re likely to turn to someone you already know that you’re comfortable displaying that much vulnerability with,” she says.
But Martinez also says to remember not to look for comfort in the place you lost it.
Exes are exes for a reason. Even though this apocalyptic new world makes anything seem possible, reaching out to your toxic ex is rarely a good idea. So, if you're hovering over the send button, here are a few ways to prevent texting your ex.
1. Think of life post-pandemic.
Sliding into DMs doesn’t count during a pandemic, right? Wrong.
Someday soon (fingers crossed), this will all be over. When that happens, do you really want to end up back with your ex? Wouldn’t you rather come out with a new skill, a killer bikini bod, or a perfected banana bread recipe?
Use this time wisely — it could be over sooner than we think.
2. Remember why your relationship ended in the first place.
The stress of this pandemic is probably giving you corona-tinted glasses. But try to focus on what went wrong before and whether it can actually be fixed.
Right now, even the most mundane parts of our pre-pandemic lives are making us long for a return to the past.
3. Realize that you still have options.
Even though your in-person dating life is on pause, you can still meet new people online. Many dating apps have reported a spike in usage since the beginning of quarantine. Virtual romance has never been more possible.
Maybe before you reach for your phone, try writing yourself a list of all the reasons it didn’t work out in the first place to refocus your priorities. Or, FaceTime a friend who will give you the cold, hard facts and a virtual slap across the face to bring you back to reality.
Or, just simply ask yourself: if the world was really ending, who would you want by your side?
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Alice Kelly is a writer with a passion for lifestyle, entertainment, and trending topics.