9 Lessons Netflix's 'Love Is Blind' Taught Me About Love — And Never Accepting Less Than You Deserve
This is *truly* blind dating.
netflix I absolutely love Netflix’s Love Is Blind! It’s the craziest, yet most innovative way to find love, and I consider it one of the best shows on Netflix. It’s not like The Bachelor, where several girls are fighting for the affection of one man, or Love Island, where singles couple up in hopes of finding love and winning the most votes.
Instead, Love Is Blind centers around finding love based solely on emotional connection.
The singles communicate through "pods" for two weeks at most. These pods prevent them from seeing the person on the other side. And the biggest twist? They don’t get to see who they’re dating until they’re engaged! (Imagine seeing your fiancé for the first time after you say yes. Then, in four weeks, you’re expected to marry them in front of your friends and family. Talk about fast-paced!)
Most of the time, I don’t even know if I’m ready to commit to someone after dating for only six weeks, nevermind marrying them. These singles can commit so soon because they don’t have any distractions of the real world.
The singles’ main focus was to find true love. They came on the show in hopes of leaving with a husband or wife, dating with intentionality. The couples knew they had a short time to get to know each other and build a connection.
So, the singles on Love Is Blind asked each other deep questions you’d never dare to bring up on a first date. They knew there was no way to build an emotional connection with one another without being completely vulnerable.
Whether you've binge-watched or have yet to see Love Is Blind, I highly recommend it. Not only is it entertaining, but it taught me lessons about love I can apply to my own life, and make my chances of finding "the one" much more likely. (Warning: spoilers ahead!)
1. Women should feel free to make the first move.
One thing I liked about Love Is Blind is how Lauren was willing to go against the norms. She listened to her heart and told Cameron she loved him first.
She put her heart on the line, knowing she may not have received the same response back. That showed vulnerability, which is how you foster a true and genuine connection.
So, ladies, if you think it’s right, make the first move. Imagine what would happen if Lauren didn’t tell Cameron she loved him first?
2. Mixed signals are a big no-no.
Barnett, a single man who was very confused throughout the process, found himself having a great connection with not one, but three women on the show: Amber, LC, and Jessica. These women couldn’t have been more different.
I don’t know what it’s like to fall in love with someone I've never met, but I do know that marriage is a serious commitment. If you are uncertain of who you want to be with, you shouldn't be proposing at all.
3. Men are persistant when they know what they want.
On the show, Marc proved that when a man knows what he wants, he’s going to pursue it. There were countless times during his relationship with Jessica where she was willing to call it quits, but he wouldn’t give up.
He would always find ways to make things work between them because he was in love with her. Marc didn’t allow outside factors like his age to stop him. Instead, he went after what he wanted without knowing if she’d say “I do” or “I don’t” at the altar.
4. No matter how great the emotional connection is, there must be a physical one too.
The biggest shock while watching was hearing Kelly say “I don’t” at the altar. I thought her and Kenny were a really level-headed couple who were taking things slower than the others in an effort to continue to foster their emotional connection in the real world.
That might have started as the reason why, but it mainly had to do with the fact that she wasn’t physically attracted to Kenny. Kenny wasn't Kelly’s typical type, so she felt something was missing in their romantic relationship.
She built a great emotional connection with Kenny, but only viewed him as a best friend, not a potential life partner.
5. Age doesn't indicate maturity.
It’s a common consensus that Marc, a 24-year-old, was more mature than his 34-year-old fiancée, Jessica. She couldn't get past their 10-year age difference.
I get that it can be an overwhelming age difference, but Marc was 24 when Jessica said yes to his proposal. His age didn’t magically change, Jessica did. She didn't realize the commitment she was making.
Instead of breaking things off because she was self-conscious about dating someone so young, she decided to string him along.
6. There can’t only be one person fighting to make a relationship work.
Honestly, I felt bad for Marc. He was allowing Jessica to make a fool of him due to his love for her. He was too blind to see that she wasn’t physically attracted to him, and that 10-year age gap was way too much for her to bear.
Jessica was trying to find every reason why the relationship wouldn’t work because she didn’t want to marry Marc. Also, Jessica wasn’t over Barnett. She was willing to leave Marc for Barnett, after all.
So, when someone shows you they’re willing to drop you for another person, let them. If they come back, don’t take them back, because you’re no one’s second choice. Being a second choice puts you in a position where you're fighting for a one-sided relationship, and everyone deserves more than that.
7. Love yourself enough to leave when you’re disrespected.
When Carlton came out to his fiancée, Diamond, a heterosexual woman, that required a lot of vulnerability on his part. I commend him for telling her, even though he should have done so before proposing to her. Doing so would have allowed Diamond to understand what she was saying yes to.
As you can imagine, she was dumbfounded by the news and needed time to process it. This infuriated Carlton. So much so he called her a derogatory term. At that moment, Diamond got to see a part of Carlton she'd never seen in the pods.
In an attempt to defend herself, she stooped to his level as well. It was quite an argument, to say the least.
Diamond ultimately broke off the engagement because she wasn't going to stand for Carlton’s disrespect. He even insulted her hair. Not okay. Diamond knew her worth and wasn’t going to be with a man who degraded her because she needed time to understand.
All women need to know that it’s okay to leave at the first sign of disrespect. You don’t have to feel obligated to stay with a man who insults you because of history or commitment.
8. Don’t shy away from talking about finances.
In relationships, how are you supposed to approach the talk about finances? Finances aren't something you talk about early on, because money doesn’t matter if it’s not a serious relationship.
I respect Amber for being able to tell Barnett that she’s $20,000 in debt and unemployed. Her being transparent allowed Barnett to decide if he was willing to accept Amber, despite all her debt.
In marriage, your finances combine, so your partner’s debt becomes yours too. Money is something important to discuss since financial hardships can cause divorce.
9. Reveal your expectations to your partner.
Amber let Barnett know she wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. Cameron, like most, expected his fiancée Lauren to move in with him after they got married. If he didn’t tell Lauren that, she might have continued living in her apartment because she was so used to her independence. Jessica even let Marc know that she wanted him to sign a prenup to protect herself financially.
Long story short, your partner can’t read your mind, so speak up. Share your reservations and expectations with them.
When you’re transparent in a relationship, it allows you both to be on the same page. It also helps you find a way to compromise, so everyone feels their desires are being met and heard.
Tamara Sanon is a writer with a passion for covering topics about health and wellness, lifestyle, astrology, and relationships.