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We all struggle with making the right choices.
By The Mind's Journal — Written on Feb 22, 2020
By Monalisa Roy
We often forget the importance of making a decision. We keep worrying and asking questions about whether we did enough or whether we are going to make the right decisions or not.
But how do we understand whether a decision was right or wrong? Isn’t it possible that what seems right to us may be wrong to someone else? Don’t we risk losing everything over a decision?
What’s a decision? We don’t know if it was right or wrong, so we can only rest at the idea that it felt right at the moment, so we did what we had to do.
Let me give you an example. Let’s say there’s this girl, Jennifer, who fell in love with a guy named Ryan. He is good looking and everything. He has all the traits she can ever ask for.
But guess what? He doesn’t know how to behave. What happens then? Does she decide to go out with him when he asked her out?
Let’s further go ahead and assume that she said yes! She knew that he didn’t know how to behave with a woman, but she went with him anyway. She did it because that felt right at the moment.
The decision we take and whether it is right or wrong can only be known on a future date. We really can’t decide whether this decision will be right or wrong. So, quit trying to force it.
Just do what needs to be done. If this is the person you want to go out with despite their flaws, so be it. If this is the kind of life you want to lead or if this is the person you wish to love, then stick to it.
Here are some tips for keeping yourself on track.
1. Ask yourself what's best.
More often than not, we know what’s best for us. So, ask yourself whether going forward with this decision is right for you. Will it help you grow? Is it worth paying attention to it? If so, then go with it. You can handle the consequences, because it’s worth it.
Our instincts or sixth sense, whatever you may call it, tells us what needs to be done. You know that noise talking at the back of your head, that’s the one. It will guide you through what’s right or wrong. Listen to it. I promise you, 90 percent of the time, it's right and we knew it all along.
2. Have patience.
We don’t know how our decisions are going to play out, so patience is key here. How often did we just take a decision in haste and didn’t see it through and took another one instead? Most of the time!
Don’t do that. Patience and faith can go a long way. So, be calm and see what happens next.
3. Talk to a friend.
We all have our most trusted advisor whenever we are in trouble and need help. And it’s always a great idea to take advice from your friends or someone you trust and then make decisions based on that advice or suggestions.
Your friends know you and they can help. So, never hesitate to ask for help.
4. Keep a journal.
Some of us are less open to the world than others. When we need someone to talk to and just can trust anyone to share the burden, a journal goes a long way.
I’ve been writing since I was in the fourth grade and I just wrote how I felt about things. Over the years, it has helped me grow and evolve. So, if you can’t talk to someone, write down all the things in your journal, all that you feel, all that you want. See if it helps. I’m sure it will.
Life gives us lessons and some of them might not be something we had asked for. But I assure you that all of them were important.
That heartbreak, that lost friend, that difficult sibling — those were important too. Embrace all the lessons that life is offering and it won’t be so hard.
Even with being extra careful and going the extra mile, our decisions turn out to be wrong. We thought it would have worked out well, but it doesn’t. That’s fine. That’s only being human.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. You will figure it all out.
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Monalisa Roy is a writer who focuses on self-care, self-love, and relationships. For more of her self-care content, visit her author profile on The Mind's Journal.
This article was originally published at The Mind's Journal. Reprinted with permission from the author.