'Silicon Valley' Actor Thomas Middleditch Says Swinging Saved His Marriage
He says it keeps their marriage fresh.
Instagram Silicon Valley actor Thomas Middleditch recently opened up to Playboy about his unconventional marriage to Molly Gates. The 37-year-old said: “Only after I got married was I like, ‘Mollie, I’m sorry, but we have to get nontraditional here.’ To her credit, instead of saying ‘F–k you, I’m out,’ she was like, ‘Let’s figure this out.’ To be honest, swinging has saved our marriage. We have different speeds, and we argue over it constantly, but it’s better than feeling unheard and alone and that you have to scurry in the shadows. By the way, it’s now called being ‘part of the lifestyle.’ The term swinging is old.” Who is Thomas Middleditch?
1. His early days
Thomas Middleditch was born and raised by his British parents in Nelson, British Columbia. In eighth grade he was cast in a play and that changed everything from him. He went from a kid who was bullied and who spent more time indoors than out to becoming the funny, popular kid. He studied at the University of Victoria before moving to Toronto. He worked at a New Balance store while working on his own sketch comedy. He moved to Chicago and took classes at The Second City and iO Theatre which led to an audition for Saturday Night Live. He did not get cast, but he did get a network holding deal.
2. Who is Mollie?
Mollie Gates studied apparel design at Louisiana State University. An internship at Paper Magazine in New York City led her to realize she wanted to work in film. She worked on Django: Unchained, The Twilight Saga and Dallas Buyers Club, to name just a few of her credits. Mollie and Thomas met in 2012 and became engaged in 2014. They married in 2015. She also worked as a costume designer on Silicon Valley in 2014.
3. He's "sexual" and a "pervert"
Middleditch describes himself as a "pervert." He said: “I’m sexual. I’d always thought I was a romantic and that when I fall in love, that stuff fades away. It does for some years — enough to be like, ‘I should get married, and I’ll be different.’ But it’s part of me. If that’s part of your being and it feels important to you, find a way to explore it, because repression sucks."
4. They make their own rules
Thomas made sure to tell Playboy that he and his wife create their own rules and their rules are pretty strict. He said: "compared to most of the people we’ve met who do this kind of shit, our rules are strict. We’re not off on our own; we’re together, a unit.”
5. Fans approach him for sex
Thomas was asked if fans approach him for sex and he said they do and he's open to it but his wife is less so. “Personally, that’s one of the trickier elements of it all, because Mollie doesn’t get that and yet she has to witness it. I’m like, ‘Come on, what about this chick who’s obviously really into me?’ And Mollie will say, ‘Yeah, she’s into you. Where do I fit in?’ That question comes up. There’s a lot of negotiation, and adding fame sometimes makes it easier and sometimes complicates things.”
6. He wouldn't mind being the "face of the lifestyle"
Playboy asked Thomas if he was concerned about becoming the "face of the lifestyle." He said: “I would be honored to be the face of something. I don’t give a f–k but my wife is more private, so I have to juggle that. I don’t think I would ever be the face of a full-tilt, your-body-is-my-body lifestyle. The perception is that you open up that door and it’s Eyes Wide Shut, which isn’t necessarily the case.”
7. He's "gas," she's "brakes"
Thomas was clear about how much work it is to manage their lifestyle, saying:“It’s a perpetual state of management and communication, to the point where it’s like, “All right, we’ve got to stop. Chill. I’m gas, and she’s brakes.”
Amy Lamare is a Los Angeles based writer and editor covering entertainment, pop culture, beauty, fashion, fitness, technology, and the intersection of technology, business, and philanthropy. You can find her on Instagram and Facebook.