It's time for a reality check.
By Jesse Oakley — Written on Aug 24, 2019
Have you ever been called a narcissist? You know... those people that are just full of themselves and they only seem to care about, well, them? Weirdly enough, it seems like whenever you call someone out who’s self absorbed like that, they never agree with you either. Maybe they know it’s a flaw and just don’t want to admit it.
The thing about narcissism is that it’s actually not just some personality quirk. Narcissistic personality disorder is actually classified by the Mayo Clinic as a real personality disorder, meaning that guy you know that always talks about himself, if properly diagnosed, literally can’t help himself.
But even with this being the case, and even if your friend isn't diagnosed as a full-blown narcissist, it can still get pretty annoying hearing someone ramble on about themselves all the time. It’s even worse when that person seems to think you’re friends, even when that friendship seems like a one-sided one.
Whether you’re actually friends or not is somewhat a moot point, because he or she is around you constantly anyway. All you really want is some peace and quiet so you can get your work done, but they won’t stop bragging about themselves and what “great” things they’ve done recently. So is there a good way to deal with that, aside from yelling at them to go away?
To be honest, despite how full of it a self-absorbed and self-obsessed person can be, you have to remember that if someone's a narcissist, they’re prone to poor reactions to things such as criticism.
Narcissists can be more emotional and insecure too. Remember that beneath that overly-pompous attitude is still an every day person with every day feelings like you and me.
However, if you feel the need to really call them out on their behavior, make sure to do it in a way that’ll get through without hurting them — especially if they think of you as a friend and you even feel the same. Even though they talk a lot about themselves, they still trust you enough to talk to you about more personal matters, so you should respect that when trying to help make their personality more bearable.
So if you want to help your friend realize how self-obsessed their being right now, but the right words just won’t come, here are some quotes about narcissists, overwhelming self-esteem and a few sassy quotes thrown in to help you express how you feel (and tell them like it is).
1. Self-importance can be a product of fear.
“I think a lot of self-importance is a product of fear. And fear, living in sort of an un-self-examined fear-based life, tends to lead to narcissism and self-importance.” –Moby
2. Though it doesn’t have to be all bad.
“Narcissism is just self-confidence.” –Mirai Nagasu
3. See where your friend is coming from.
“Narcissism has more in common with self-hatred than with self-admiration.” -Christopher Lasch
4. Are they afraid of being considered ordinary?
“Underneath the so-called narcissistic personality is definitely shame and the paralyzing fear of being ordinary.” –Brené Brown
5. Let them know you feel victimized by their behavior.
“How starved you must have been that my heart became a meal for your ego.” –Amanda Torroni
6. Trying this would probably prove your point of them being a narcissist.
“If you want to go from being adored to devalued in the blink of an eye, simply insult the narcissist.” –Tigress Luv
7. Show them their mistakes.
“There’s a reason narcissists don’t learn from mistakes and that’s because they never get past the first step which is admitting that they made one.” –Jeffrey Kluger
8. Not that vanity is much better...
“I loathe narcissism, but I approve of vanity.” –Diana Vreeland
9. They may be shocked to hear this one.
“Narcissistic people are always struggling with the fact that the rest of the world doesn’t revolve around them.” –Unknown
10. They probably can’t even see what they’re like.
“It is not love that should be depicted as blind, but self-love.” –Voltaire
11. Forever unrequited love.
“Narcissus weeps to find that his image does not return his love.” –Mason Cooley
12. One day everyone will see how bad this person can be.
“A narcissist paints a picture of themselves as being the victim or innocent in all aspects. They will be offended by the truth. But what is done in the dark will come to light. Time has a way of showing people’s true colors.” –Karla Grimes
13. Your friend probably doesn’t have many choices in who to spend his or her time with.
“I bet it gets pretty lonely with only your ego for company.” –Alexandra Bracken
14. Put a stop to their hunger.
“The narcissist devours people, consumes their output, and casts the empty, writhing shells aside.” –Sam Vaknin
15. Don’t let them infiltrate your mind.
“Narcissists will destroy your life, erode your self-esteem, and do it with such stealth as to make you feel that you are the one that's letting them down.” –Unknown
16. Of course, everybody is a little narcissistic.
“The paradox about narcissism is that we all have this streak of egotism. Eighty percent of people think they're better than average.” –Mark Leary
17. This sums up a narcissist.
“I don't care what you think unless it is about me.” –Kurt Cobain
18. If they’re wondering why no one wants to date them, tell them this.
“You give up your narcissism, your egotism. That's how you achieve chemistry.” –Nick Nolte
19. How can he or she expect you to trust them?
“If people are really narcissistic or have a need to be seen as more than they really are, or to be admired as having it all together, then they cannot be followed and trusted by others.” –Henry Cloud
20. In the end...
“But that’s the thing about narcissists. They can try to fool you, with all their heart, but in the end, they’re just fooling themselves.” –Ellie Fox
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Jesse Oakley is a writer who covers astrology, pop culture and relationship topics.