Photo: getty
He ran a sex club for the rich and famous.
By Amy Lamare — Written on Aug 14, 2019
Well, well, well, what do we have here? Damon Lawner owned, until recently, a verrrrrry exclusive sex club called Snctm for the rich and famous. He started it in Los Angeles in 2013 after being inspired by Stanley Kurbicks's sexy thriller Eyes Wide Shut. Recently, he put the club on the market, which has members — which reportedly include Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband Brad Falchuck and Bill Maher — freaking out. An insider told Radar: “Every member is required to provide personal and professional profiles, along with revealing photos when they register — plus details of their most intimate fantasies. If that stuff got released to the public or is even filtered out through the dark web — or the 100,000 people on [Snctm’s] mailing list — careers and families will certainly be destroyed!” So, who is Damon Lawner?
1. The man behind the mask
Damon Lawner, 48, runs Snctm out of a very high security Tudor mansion in Los Angeles. The erotic masquerade balls and pool parties have also taken place in New York City during Fashion Week, in Miami for the Art Basel festival, and throughout the month of August in the Hamptons. There are also occasionally parties in London and Moscow.
2. He was a bored real estate agent before founding Scnctm
Over the years Lawner has been a model, a musician and a restaurant owner. He met and married his now ex-wife Melissa. The crash of 2008 happened and the couple lost everything, had $900,000 in debt and Lawner once again had to reinvent himself. He became a real estate agent. All was fine for awhile. He had a beautiful wife, two daughters, a house in Hancock Park. He was bored. He began to ask himself, "Is this all there is?"
3. What led Lawner to start a sex club
In an interview wtih Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop, Lawner was asked what the impetus for starting Scntm was. He said: "I had a powerful sexual energy from early in my life, in direct opposition to an equally strong desire to be a committed, monogamous mate. I was tormented remaining true to partners I cared deeply about and often failing, while also desiring to fully actualize my authentic self. I am someone who deeply craves a partnership and thrives in one, but traditional relationships and religious doctrine drifted far away from true unconditional love in my view. It’s not as if this idea of open acceptance of a partner is easy for me, it isn’t! But I needed to have the conversation about it, and I wondered if others of like mind were out there searching for similar answers. I began to draw the Snctm icon one evening thinking about a secretive society that might explore these questions. I called the symbol oculus dei, the eye of God. It began watching over me and our fledgling society from its inception until now, going into our fourth year. This entire experience evolved from my desire to open up my truth to others, and have a meaningful conversation about sex, relationship, erotica, fetish, love, pain, and ultimately pleasure of the highest vibration that we might reach together. That is what I’m going for, and Snctm is leading us there."
4. Cost of membership
Scntm offers a number of membership tiers. Basic membership is $20,000 a year. Violet Key membership is a one time payment of $1 million. The Dominus membership is available to only 20 people and costs $75,000. To attend a Snctm party, the potential guest must fill out an online questionnaire, submit photos of their face and body and complete an interview with Lawner. Women can apply to attend a party for free or buy a ticket, reportedly about $2,000. Men must be members or part of a couple.
5. The club led to Damon Lawner's divorce
Damon Lawner may throw sexy parties for the elite, but he has admitted that Snctm led to his marriage falling apart. He was married to an actress named Melissa and recently said he could have had a "deeply fulfilling" life if he had stayed on the "picket fence" path. He said: "Instead I chose to absolutely follow my dreams. I gave up the only thing I love and care about in this world."
6. He sold the club and is writing a tell-all book
Now, Lawner has sold the sex club and is writing a tell-all book about his experiences hosting erotic parties. He's sold the club to a group called the Circle. Lawner told Page Six: “I am going to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth — as much as my lawyer and editor will allow me to say in print. It’s going to be an exciting read.” Lawner sent an email to Snctm's members that said, in part that he "passed the golden ring to a gentleman I am contented to call its new owner,” and that the new chief has a “passion that reminds me of my own.”
Amy Lamare is a Los Angeles based freelance writer covering entertainment, pop culture, beauty, fashion, fitness, technology, and the intersection of technology, business, and philanthropy.